Sunday, June 26, 2011
Opioids
by cnidocyte » Wed Sep 22, 2010 3:48 pm I don't have anger issues normally but when I'm on I can go into a near homicidal rage very easily. The problem arrises when I direct that anger at people. Sometimes the anger is over a thing, like a slow internet connection, I'll just get pissed off at the router or my computer etc. When someone else causes me a problem and I believe it to be intentional though, my anger gets directed at them. I won't seek them out and give out to them or anything but when its the other way around like someone giving me $#%
Anger?
by tkbrice » Fri Sep 24, 2010 1:19 am Hi, i'm still fairly new, but have made a few posts in the schizoaffective forum. Today I went to group and my therapist thinks I should go into anger management. She said being destructive with things and breaking things means something seriously is wrong, and that I should talk about it. I never had much of an issue with anger until pretty recently. I think years of bottling up emotion is what's taking a toll on me. I really don't know how to control it in a healthy way...what helps for you? What helps the anger just melt away, and leaves you feeling better and possibly with a smile on your face?
I've also fairly recently started attending groups again. I'm in Bipolar Support, Confidence and Self Esteem, and Exercise group. I have found that listening to soft music helps too with the anger, and talking about things in groups help a little bit too. Right now, I'm residing in a homeless shelter, and things can get pretty stressful with people always getting hostile towards eachother. There's a lot of argument, verbal bashing, etc.
Also, I just started work at Mcdonalds. I start a full day on Saturday, and I'm afraid that the stress might get to be too much. Anyone know of any ways that I can properly deal with my anger, anxiety, and emotions while on the job...? What works for you when you're at work and you start feeling stressed?
ThankstkbriceConsumer 0
I've also fairly recently started attending groups again. I'm in Bipolar Support, Confidence and Self Esteem, and Exercise group. I have found that listening to soft music helps too with the anger, and talking about things in groups help a little bit too. Right now, I'm residing in a homeless shelter, and things can get pretty stressful with people always getting hostile towards eachother. There's a lot of argument, verbal bashing, etc.
Also, I just started work at Mcdonalds. I start a full day on Saturday, and I'm afraid that the stress might get to be too much. Anyone know of any ways that I can properly deal with my anger, anxiety, and emotions while on the job...? What works for you when you're at work and you start feeling stressed?
ThankstkbriceConsumer 0
Need help with my anger.
by jennifer2604 » Mon Sep 27, 2010 5:48 pm I have had a problem with managing anger my whole life it seems. I don't know if it means anything, but my family life was not fantastic. My parents were very heavy handed with physical and verbal discipline. My dad was the worst as far as physical, a spanking would leave me crying for hours and unable to sit down, and he actually punched me a few times. My mother was more verbal, when I had done something wrong she made me feel horribly guilty for more than just the particular thing I had done to upset her. I was told countless times that I was a mistake, that being raped at age 12 was my fault, "You're a whore and you asked for it" was what she told me. As a teenager I lived at friends houses more often than my parents, and I got into drugs which I managed to get out of. I was in counseling constantly which left me feeling worse because I had to attend with my parents, who would deny any wrongdoing of theirs and exaggerate anything I did. For instance, if I slammed a door, they would tell my doctor that I trashed the house.
Now onto the present. I am engaged and living with my fiance. His ex wife committed suicide a year ago, and he never really dealt with the grief, just started drinking and taking perks. I drank with him, quite heavily for a while until we made the decision to quit because thats when our biggest fights would occur. We never really fought before we started drinking everyday. However the fights are continuing. They're not every day anymore, but they are still happening. I have a short temper, so if he says something or does something that pisses me off, I have great difficulty being rational. It starts with me giving him the cold shoulder, or being short, and evolves. He will ask me whats wrong, and when I tell him, he defends himself, saying I'm making a big deal out of nothing, which makes me angrier because I feel I am not being listened to. So we keep snipping at each other until I get really mad, which is usually when I try to walk away. I have told him that when I get angry, I need that cool down period. I am incapable of being rational when I am angry. Sometimes he respects this, but sometimes I may have said something hurtful, or he just isnt ready to end the "discussion". If I cannot get that cooldown period, I lose it. I start yelling and screaming, slamming doors, occasionally throwing things. I get very mean and hurtful which leads him to do the same. A few times it has ended in me leaving for a few days. We love each other very much, and the thing is, our arguments are never over anything serious. It seems something just snaps inside me, where other people would be mildly irritated, I am in a rage. I try to stop it, I try to focus and calm down, but I can't. I need advice for this. I tried journalling to track what was triggering these explosions, but at one point I had got so angry and felt that everyone was against me that I wrote a suicide letter in it. Since then it has gone missing, we can't find it anywhere which leads me to believe one of his family members who is aware of the situation has taken it. If anyone has some tips on how I could control this, I would appreciate it. I feel my anger is destroying our relationship and I have to stop it.jennifer2604Consumer 0
Now onto the present. I am engaged and living with my fiance. His ex wife committed suicide a year ago, and he never really dealt with the grief, just started drinking and taking perks. I drank with him, quite heavily for a while until we made the decision to quit because thats when our biggest fights would occur. We never really fought before we started drinking everyday. However the fights are continuing. They're not every day anymore, but they are still happening. I have a short temper, so if he says something or does something that pisses me off, I have great difficulty being rational. It starts with me giving him the cold shoulder, or being short, and evolves. He will ask me whats wrong, and when I tell him, he defends himself, saying I'm making a big deal out of nothing, which makes me angrier because I feel I am not being listened to. So we keep snipping at each other until I get really mad, which is usually when I try to walk away. I have told him that when I get angry, I need that cool down period. I am incapable of being rational when I am angry. Sometimes he respects this, but sometimes I may have said something hurtful, or he just isnt ready to end the "discussion". If I cannot get that cooldown period, I lose it. I start yelling and screaming, slamming doors, occasionally throwing things. I get very mean and hurtful which leads him to do the same. A few times it has ended in me leaving for a few days. We love each other very much, and the thing is, our arguments are never over anything serious. It seems something just snaps inside me, where other people would be mildly irritated, I am in a rage. I try to stop it, I try to focus and calm down, but I can't. I need advice for this. I tried journalling to track what was triggering these explosions, but at one point I had got so angry and felt that everyone was against me that I wrote a suicide letter in it. Since then it has gone missing, we can't find it anywhere which leads me to believe one of his family members who is aware of the situation has taken it. If anyone has some tips on how I could control this, I would appreciate it. I feel my anger is destroying our relationship and I have to stop it.jennifer2604Consumer 0
Hit my wife -- is this an anger management issue?
by workNprogress » Tue Oct 12, 2010 1:40 am So, I have been married 3 years. My wife has serious anger management issues. I've always been very calm, but her destructiveness (screaming obscenities at me over something trivial like her anger I am not more interested in her gardening ideas while our little children are crying and screaming at her to stop) can really push my buttons. We generally have a blow up about once a month. Yes, I've considered it is related to PMS, but my issue here is my own behavior, not my wife's.
With concerted effort on both our parts, we went 2 months without a major blow up, until yesterday. The kids were napping. My wife expressed her opinion I caused our daughter grief when I took our son to the store a week ago. My reasons were very practical -- my son was ready to walk out the door, I was trying to run a quick errand as a favor to my wife, I figured leaving her with just our daughter instead of both kids would be doing her an additional favor, my daughter is still in diapers which means a production whenever we leave the house of preparing a diaper bag, bringing a bottle of milk, and my daughter is much more bonded to her mother than to me (our son is the opposite) which raises the specter that my daughter might realize at the store that her mother is not in sight and have a melt down. The easiest thing to do was take my son. As I was walking out the door with him, my daughter went to follow us (she follows her older brother everywhere) and I shooed her back inside. My wife said something like, "Oh, she feels left out," and I said something like,"Oh, she's not missing out, I'm sure she's going to be doing something special here..."
I was hinting -- strongly -- that my wife should distract our daughter from feeling like she was missing out, by getting her excited about something they would do at home while I was gone, like have tea party or go on a treasure hunt, or whatever. The point is, a 2 year old is very easy to distract and can get excited about almost anything. When I got back from the store, my wife hits me with the news that my daughter was hysterically upset that she was left behind, and she thinks it is my fault because I have now taken my son but not my daughter three times in a row on errands of this sort over the past 2 months. Again, my reasoning was always based on practicality -- these are quick errands and my son is old enough to hop in the car -- and I never figured my wife was so unable or unwilling to distract my daughter from feeling as if she was being left out.
So all week, my wife keeps bringing this issue back up, of me not treating our daughter fairly. I have spent the last week wracking my brains on how to tell my wife that I really think she could have tried harder to make staying home something special for our daughter so she didn't feel left out. It's exactly the sort of thing I would have done without even being asked. To me, it's what parents do, as partners, to help each other. I wanted my wife to realize she could have made an effort to make my daughter feel like she was going to do something special so she would not feel left out simply because she was being left at home. I did not say anything for a week because I feared it would set my wife into a rage. Anything that seems critical of her parenting does that.
Finally, yesterday, she made a comment again about my not taking our daughter a week ago. I finally said something about how I thought there were two sides to that, and I thought she could and should have made an effort to get our daughter excited about staying home, instead of reinforcing that she was being left out by saying stuff like, "oh, don't worry, you'll get to go another time." That sort of stuff just reinforced that she WAS being left out of something special. As I had feared, this threw my wife into a rage. She started shouting how I don't love my daughter like my son and how I ignore her and am causing her psychological damage. Both our kids awoke from their naps and started crying. Not knowing how to calm my wife, I left the room. My wife followed and continued yelling.
I told her to stop and think of the kids. She did not. I said it over and over. I shouted it. She kept on swearing at me. The kids were crying. I was holding a glass of water. Finally, I threw the water at her. She looked shocked, then she came at my swinging her fists. She's smaller than me, but strong and in better shape. She hit me a couple times, and something in me broke. I knocked her back and said, "YOu do NOT get to hit me!" I hit her again, and grabbed her, subdued her, then let her go. She came at me again swinging. I again knocked her, told her she does not get to hit me, grabbed her, immobilized her, and let her go. It happened one more time like that.
Afterwards, her view is that, as the man, the same standards do not apply, and she gets to hit me without me being allowed to hit her back. I should have subdued her by grabbing her arms without landing any blows myself. On reflection, I wish I would have done that. I've always thought I was the kind of man who would never hit a woman, even if the woman was hitting me. But at that moment she was hitting me, I was enraged that she was so out of control, so disregarding our children's emotional health, and so insistent on turning a simple discussion of differing views on child-rearing into a screaming argument -- and that she does this regularly. But part of me was also enraged at the double standard that I should let her hit me and she gets off unscathed. I probably could have subdued her without landing any blows myself, but at that moment, I wanted to land a couple blows myself. For whatever it's worth, it's not like a swung first, and it's not like I hit her after she was subdued. But I also did more than the bare minimum to subdue her.
Now that I've hit a woman for the first time in my life, I am forced to ponder what kind of man I am, how badly I am flawed, and what type of problem I have, whether it's an anger managment issue or an interpersonal issue, whether it's a function of a lot of stress I've been under, or what. Any opinions would be appreciated.workNprogressConsumer 0
With concerted effort on both our parts, we went 2 months without a major blow up, until yesterday. The kids were napping. My wife expressed her opinion I caused our daughter grief when I took our son to the store a week ago. My reasons were very practical -- my son was ready to walk out the door, I was trying to run a quick errand as a favor to my wife, I figured leaving her with just our daughter instead of both kids would be doing her an additional favor, my daughter is still in diapers which means a production whenever we leave the house of preparing a diaper bag, bringing a bottle of milk, and my daughter is much more bonded to her mother than to me (our son is the opposite) which raises the specter that my daughter might realize at the store that her mother is not in sight and have a melt down. The easiest thing to do was take my son. As I was walking out the door with him, my daughter went to follow us (she follows her older brother everywhere) and I shooed her back inside. My wife said something like, "Oh, she feels left out," and I said something like,"Oh, she's not missing out, I'm sure she's going to be doing something special here..."
I was hinting -- strongly -- that my wife should distract our daughter from feeling like she was missing out, by getting her excited about something they would do at home while I was gone, like have tea party or go on a treasure hunt, or whatever. The point is, a 2 year old is very easy to distract and can get excited about almost anything. When I got back from the store, my wife hits me with the news that my daughter was hysterically upset that she was left behind, and she thinks it is my fault because I have now taken my son but not my daughter three times in a row on errands of this sort over the past 2 months. Again, my reasoning was always based on practicality -- these are quick errands and my son is old enough to hop in the car -- and I never figured my wife was so unable or unwilling to distract my daughter from feeling as if she was being left out.
So all week, my wife keeps bringing this issue back up, of me not treating our daughter fairly. I have spent the last week wracking my brains on how to tell my wife that I really think she could have tried harder to make staying home something special for our daughter so she didn't feel left out. It's exactly the sort of thing I would have done without even being asked. To me, it's what parents do, as partners, to help each other. I wanted my wife to realize she could have made an effort to make my daughter feel like she was going to do something special so she would not feel left out simply because she was being left at home. I did not say anything for a week because I feared it would set my wife into a rage. Anything that seems critical of her parenting does that.
Finally, yesterday, she made a comment again about my not taking our daughter a week ago. I finally said something about how I thought there were two sides to that, and I thought she could and should have made an effort to get our daughter excited about staying home, instead of reinforcing that she was being left out by saying stuff like, "oh, don't worry, you'll get to go another time." That sort of stuff just reinforced that she WAS being left out of something special. As I had feared, this threw my wife into a rage. She started shouting how I don't love my daughter like my son and how I ignore her and am causing her psychological damage. Both our kids awoke from their naps and started crying. Not knowing how to calm my wife, I left the room. My wife followed and continued yelling.
I told her to stop and think of the kids. She did not. I said it over and over. I shouted it. She kept on swearing at me. The kids were crying. I was holding a glass of water. Finally, I threw the water at her. She looked shocked, then she came at my swinging her fists. She's smaller than me, but strong and in better shape. She hit me a couple times, and something in me broke. I knocked her back and said, "YOu do NOT get to hit me!" I hit her again, and grabbed her, subdued her, then let her go. She came at me again swinging. I again knocked her, told her she does not get to hit me, grabbed her, immobilized her, and let her go. It happened one more time like that.
Afterwards, her view is that, as the man, the same standards do not apply, and she gets to hit me without me being allowed to hit her back. I should have subdued her by grabbing her arms without landing any blows myself. On reflection, I wish I would have done that. I've always thought I was the kind of man who would never hit a woman, even if the woman was hitting me. But at that moment she was hitting me, I was enraged that she was so out of control, so disregarding our children's emotional health, and so insistent on turning a simple discussion of differing views on child-rearing into a screaming argument -- and that she does this regularly. But part of me was also enraged at the double standard that I should let her hit me and she gets off unscathed. I probably could have subdued her without landing any blows myself, but at that moment, I wanted to land a couple blows myself. For whatever it's worth, it's not like a swung first, and it's not like I hit her after she was subdued. But I also did more than the bare minimum to subdue her.
Now that I've hit a woman for the first time in my life, I am forced to ponder what kind of man I am, how badly I am flawed, and what type of problem I have, whether it's an anger managment issue or an interpersonal issue, whether it's a function of a lot of stress I've been under, or what. Any opinions would be appreciated.workNprogressConsumer 0
Tips on how to deal with anger.
by puppyluva » Fri Oct 22, 2010 1:37 am For the people who get angry often and end up breaking things alot or get violent with people or there partners a good idea which can help some people is by buying a big bean bag or lots of teddys and when you get angry you throw the teddys instead or you throw/hit the bean bag. sounds silly but it is better than breaking things that you will regret or hurting someone and causing pain or death to that person as we all know violence can lead to that. Not saying all angry people are violent.
Or...
Train yourself to think of something nice, when i get angry i have trained myself to go get my hamster out of his cage and cuddle him and talk to him. Anything that cheers you up. I call say to myself ''Ok, i am stressed HAMSTER TIME'' Or i say to myself ''Can't be arsed, i am having a cup of tea and BAN myself from talking or thinking till at least i have finished my cup of tea i just lay back on the chair or sofa and take my time driinking my tea. I have also taken up hobbies that helps too, i start writing, reading, drawing and painting or singing my emotions out.
Hope it helps youpuppyluvaConsumer 2
Or...
Train yourself to think of something nice, when i get angry i have trained myself to go get my hamster out of his cage and cuddle him and talk to him. Anything that cheers you up. I call say to myself ''Ok, i am stressed HAMSTER TIME'' Or i say to myself ''Can't be arsed, i am having a cup of tea and BAN myself from talking or thinking till at least i have finished my cup of tea i just lay back on the chair or sofa and take my time driinking my tea. I have also taken up hobbies that helps too, i start writing, reading, drawing and painting or singing my emotions out.
Hope it helps youpuppyluvaConsumer 2
Delete this post please, it's no longer relevant.
by VelvetNight » Sun Oct 24, 2010 11:47 pm Clue in the title. There should be a delete button I think.Last edited by VelvetNight on Wed Nov 03, 2010 1:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.You don't have to be crazy, but it helps
I blackout when angry and i can't control it
Open Discussions about Anger and Anger Management.
Moderator: Onebravegirl
Post a reply63 posts • Page 1 of 7 • 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 7Is it my problem?
by amiangry » Fri Oct 29, 2010 7:39 am I've had anger issues since my early teens, I'd like to think I've grown out of it, or learned to control it better, however lately I find myself losing control.
I'll try and keep this concise, probably won't work but I'll try.
What triggers it, I believe, is hypocritical behavior on my parters part, or what I view as hypocritical behavior anyways. Anytime she wants to have a 'discussion' its about her issues and what she has a problem with. However, if I try to bring up something that I have a problem with, its somehow NOT her fault and I need to take care of it myself. For instance, I brought up that a certain action of hers makes me angry, and she retorts with something along the lines of "well you're placing the blame on me, you're saying that I MAKE you feel this way. I don't MAKE you feel anything.Its YOUR feelings that you need to control and I have nothing to do with that".
Whereas, if calling her a Bword makes her feel insulted, I would try not to do that. But if her action makes me feel angry, thats MY problem? Why cant she just stop doing that?
Another thing, I try as hard as I can to let her do her thing, go out with friends, do whatever. I'll stay home with the kids, thats no big deal. But pretty much any time I want to do something, it interferes with her plans, or doesn't sit right with her, or upsets her in some way. For instance, on my birthday, I decided to go by a friends house during the evening for a few drinks. She is upset because I'm not there to help her with her homework. Leads to a big arguement, blah. There are times I try to inform her of plans that I have, well in advance, and she'll retort with "Thats alright, I'll arrange my schedule according to YOUR plans, just like I always do." - which isn't true in the slightest from MY perception. I go to work, I come home. That pretty much sums up my 'plans' for the most part.
THE main issue here is, anything I bring up is turned around and made out to be my fault. MY perception of the situation is wrong, MY understanding of what is said is wrong, the way MY feelings arise is wrong. I feel as though I cannot win, and it just makes me that much more angry.
So, what I've been doing about it is bottling it up. Which I know is not the right way to do it, but expressing it almost always leads to a fight and I end up angrier than I started.
A couple times I've gotten physically violent, while intoxicated. doing things I would never do sober. We got into a fight both parties drunk one night, and she came at me. I didn't hit her, I just deflected her... which I'm somewhat bigger and stronger, so my deflections landed her into some furniture and such. I felt horrible, so horrible that I immediately went down to the Police Station and had them arrest me (which is a whole other story, it blew their minds... )
I feel as though I'm approaching a point where I may black out (has happened when I was younger) and do something I may totally regret. I don't want to reach that point.
I just need to know, I need a third party perception here. Is she right? Could my perception of events and conversation be that skewed? Is it possible to control your emotional reaction to certain things?
The way I see it, I cannot help that something makes me angry, I can only help how I relay that anger, or express it. I cannot help the anger itself, can I?amiangryConsumer 0
I'll try and keep this concise, probably won't work but I'll try.
What triggers it, I believe, is hypocritical behavior on my parters part, or what I view as hypocritical behavior anyways. Anytime she wants to have a 'discussion' its about her issues and what she has a problem with. However, if I try to bring up something that I have a problem with, its somehow NOT her fault and I need to take care of it myself. For instance, I brought up that a certain action of hers makes me angry, and she retorts with something along the lines of "well you're placing the blame on me, you're saying that I MAKE you feel this way. I don't MAKE you feel anything.Its YOUR feelings that you need to control and I have nothing to do with that".
Whereas, if calling her a Bword makes her feel insulted, I would try not to do that. But if her action makes me feel angry, thats MY problem? Why cant she just stop doing that?
Another thing, I try as hard as I can to let her do her thing, go out with friends, do whatever. I'll stay home with the kids, thats no big deal. But pretty much any time I want to do something, it interferes with her plans, or doesn't sit right with her, or upsets her in some way. For instance, on my birthday, I decided to go by a friends house during the evening for a few drinks. She is upset because I'm not there to help her with her homework. Leads to a big arguement, blah. There are times I try to inform her of plans that I have, well in advance, and she'll retort with "Thats alright, I'll arrange my schedule according to YOUR plans, just like I always do." - which isn't true in the slightest from MY perception. I go to work, I come home. That pretty much sums up my 'plans' for the most part.
THE main issue here is, anything I bring up is turned around and made out to be my fault. MY perception of the situation is wrong, MY understanding of what is said is wrong, the way MY feelings arise is wrong. I feel as though I cannot win, and it just makes me that much more angry.
So, what I've been doing about it is bottling it up. Which I know is not the right way to do it, but expressing it almost always leads to a fight and I end up angrier than I started.
A couple times I've gotten physically violent, while intoxicated. doing things I would never do sober. We got into a fight both parties drunk one night, and she came at me. I didn't hit her, I just deflected her... which I'm somewhat bigger and stronger, so my deflections landed her into some furniture and such. I felt horrible, so horrible that I immediately went down to the Police Station and had them arrest me (which is a whole other story, it blew their minds... )
I feel as though I'm approaching a point where I may black out (has happened when I was younger) and do something I may totally regret. I don't want to reach that point.
I just need to know, I need a third party perception here. Is she right? Could my perception of events and conversation be that skewed? Is it possible to control your emotional reaction to certain things?
The way I see it, I cannot help that something makes me angry, I can only help how I relay that anger, or express it. I cannot help the anger itself, can I?amiangryConsumer 0
Too much Angry...Misbehaviour of others
by jmohan » Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:14 pm hi everyone,
I had worked in a company last month. I was in big trouble and tension. The reason is. one girl often were looking at me in the office. I asked her that ' are u loving me' but she refused and told me that I am loving another person not u. After 1 week again she started and looking at me. Once again I asked her and she answered that same previous answer. After some week, unconsciously i started to love her. Whenever she looking at me, I had thought that ''she expects sex that is why she denied my love''. She induced my sex feelings. Whenever I approached her, she denied my love. on the contrary, as she looks at me often, my sex feelings were induced. I struggled and I was unable to work. Actually I was innocent at that time of working period in the office.I thought that she is good everything. That kind of thought made me to think about her more positively.
As my sex feeling were induced, I was in a big trouble that whenever I see her, my sex feelings were in high temperature. I got too angry on her that why she is looking at me unnecessarily. My co workers in the office known about this matter I am struggling for sex by seeing my expression in my face. Everybody criticised me indirectly that I am a brutal of sex. Almost, there are 100 people everyday were criticising me and made a bad impression over me.
I was working over 1 year in that company. On the period of working time in the office, I was in a hell. Because criticism and that bad girl. I could not bear . that is why I relieved from that company.
Recently , I relieved from that company. I am searching for antoher job in other companies. But I could not concentrate on my interview preparation. Because the hurted things in the office often comes to my mind that everybody laughing at me and I am a loser and my manhood is damaged . These are all the things going into my mind. I am unable to concentrate to get a new job. I have too much of angry over them. what can I do.
Please buddies, help me to overcome this problem.
Thanks,
Mohan
I had worked in a company last month. I was in big trouble and tension. The reason is. one girl often were looking at me in the office. I asked her that ' are u loving me' but she refused and told me that I am loving another person not u. After 1 week again she started and looking at me. Once again I asked her and she answered that same previous answer. After some week, unconsciously i started to love her. Whenever she looking at me, I had thought that ''she expects sex that is why she denied my love''. She induced my sex feelings. Whenever I approached her, she denied my love. on the contrary, as she looks at me often, my sex feelings were induced. I struggled and I was unable to work. Actually I was innocent at that time of working period in the office.I thought that she is good everything. That kind of thought made me to think about her more positively.
As my sex feeling were induced, I was in a big trouble that whenever I see her, my sex feelings were in high temperature. I got too angry on her that why she is looking at me unnecessarily. My co workers in the office known about this matter I am struggling for sex by seeing my expression in my face. Everybody criticised me indirectly that I am a brutal of sex. Almost, there are 100 people everyday were criticising me and made a bad impression over me.
I was working over 1 year in that company. On the period of working time in the office, I was in a hell. Because criticism and that bad girl. I could not bear . that is why I relieved from that company.
Recently , I relieved from that company. I am searching for antoher job in other companies. But I could not concentrate on my interview preparation. Because the hurted things in the office often comes to my mind that everybody laughing at me and I am a loser and my manhood is damaged . These are all the things going into my mind. I am unable to concentrate to get a new job. I have too much of angry over them. what can I do.
Please buddies, help me to overcome this problem.
Thanks,
Mohan
How do I stop taking everything personally?
by Katyy » Thu Nov 11, 2010 4:47 am Hi all. I’m a woman in her thirties, no kids.
I’ve had rage lurking beneath the surface since I was a child, but it’s always been fairly private. I’d take my anger out on the furniture in my room, or throttle and punch my dolls, and then I’d always feel ashamed and apologetic.
In public I avoid confrontation at all costs, because I’m afraid of losing control. There’s no middle ground with me
I’ve had rage lurking beneath the surface since I was a child, but it’s always been fairly private. I’d take my anger out on the furniture in my room, or throttle and punch my dolls, and then I’d always feel ashamed and apologetic.
In public I avoid confrontation at all costs, because I’m afraid of losing control. There’s no middle ground with me
I'm terrified of myself
by Bunnycuddles » Wed Nov 17, 2010 6:40 pm Hello. I am new to this forum. I have been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, Tourette syndrome and Borderline personality disorder. I often suffer explosive anger outbursts, however over the past year, I have been getting better at not reacting to every little provocation.
I live in a care home and it is very disorganized. This week, just about everything that could go wrong, went wrong. I went to see a play at a circus tent and my tics got loud. Every single person in the tent was staring, pointing and laughing at me like I was the show. I wanted to curl up and die (not literally die but you know what I mean...). A few members of staff keep promising me things like, 'Don't worry I promise you will have a car to take you to _____'. Every single time since thursday this has been a lie because the car is not there when I need it. One of the days they decided not to tell me that we were getting a taxi with a DIFFERENT member of staff until 2 minutes before we were due to leave. I have Aspergers. I hate change. What were they thinking? I screamed but I stayed pretty calm.
Then a member of staff who I and one of my housemates have been having some issues with for a while decided to rile me up by saying that ALL the staff from my house are going to be moved to the house next door. She also tried to break up my friendship by saying that he is behaving the way he is deliberately to ruin things for me. He isn't. He is actually VERY unwell with depression and anxiety. I tried to ignore what she said but now she's made me paranoid.
Then I had arranged to visit my Mum in Milton Keynes. I walked the 30 minute walk to the bus stop (we live in a village in the middle of nowhere) but there had been a serious accident on the black cat roundabout. After an hour and a half waiting, I gave up and returned home. They had no cars and I was okay with it because it was not anyone's fault. I arranged to meet my mum the following day.
The following day the bus was 20 minutes late already when I realised I didn't have either of my mobile phones with me. I ran back to the house (up the REALLY long road) and by the time I had got home I was screaming and having a panic attack. I begged the staff that if there was a car there, could they please get me to the bus stop. The staff was told there wasn't a car there. This is when I got angry. I rang up and the staff said 'there is no car' but she was blatently lying (If I can tell someone's lying then it is pretty damned obvious). I asked where the cars were and she said one was out on a day trip, which I knew about, but the other had gone to take someone for a cup of coffee in the local town. I asked if they could bring it back to get me to the bus stop but she laughed at me. I got REALLY angry, smashed up my room then ran next door. I found a branch and started to hit myself with it as I went around. I found out that the car WAS still there, it hadn't even left.
What happened next I regret. I assulted the laughing member of staff with the stick (which was thankfully rotten and didn't do much damage) and pulled her hair. When she got angry with me I stormed out into the car park, snapped the windsheild wiper off the back of the car and smashed both the mirrors in. I thought 'If I can't go anywhere neither can anyone else'. I went back to the house, grabbed my things and went back to wait for the bus for a further hour and a half in the freezing cold.
I would like to point out that I don't blame my conditions for the way I behaved, however they didn't help. My psychologist was as 'helpful' as ever (sarcasm) by suggesting that I DO know how to control my anger, I am just choosing not to. If I had been given a choice in the matter I definately wouldn't have done what I did. I just need some help to learn how to deal with this build up of things. I described it to my psychologist like I am a bottle getting filled bit by bit with fizz. Every event puts more and more fizz into me until I explode. He told me I was talking like a 6 year old. Thanks psychologist. I like you too... (more sarcasm).
Does anyone have ANY coping strategies because my psycho-git sure as heck doesn't give me any.BunnycuddlesConsumer 0
I live in a care home and it is very disorganized. This week, just about everything that could go wrong, went wrong. I went to see a play at a circus tent and my tics got loud. Every single person in the tent was staring, pointing and laughing at me like I was the show. I wanted to curl up and die (not literally die but you know what I mean...). A few members of staff keep promising me things like, 'Don't worry I promise you will have a car to take you to _____'. Every single time since thursday this has been a lie because the car is not there when I need it. One of the days they decided not to tell me that we were getting a taxi with a DIFFERENT member of staff until 2 minutes before we were due to leave. I have Aspergers. I hate change. What were they thinking? I screamed but I stayed pretty calm.
Then a member of staff who I and one of my housemates have been having some issues with for a while decided to rile me up by saying that ALL the staff from my house are going to be moved to the house next door. She also tried to break up my friendship by saying that he is behaving the way he is deliberately to ruin things for me. He isn't. He is actually VERY unwell with depression and anxiety. I tried to ignore what she said but now she's made me paranoid.
Then I had arranged to visit my Mum in Milton Keynes. I walked the 30 minute walk to the bus stop (we live in a village in the middle of nowhere) but there had been a serious accident on the black cat roundabout. After an hour and a half waiting, I gave up and returned home. They had no cars and I was okay with it because it was not anyone's fault. I arranged to meet my mum the following day.
The following day the bus was 20 minutes late already when I realised I didn't have either of my mobile phones with me. I ran back to the house (up the REALLY long road) and by the time I had got home I was screaming and having a panic attack. I begged the staff that if there was a car there, could they please get me to the bus stop. The staff was told there wasn't a car there. This is when I got angry. I rang up and the staff said 'there is no car' but she was blatently lying (If I can tell someone's lying then it is pretty damned obvious). I asked where the cars were and she said one was out on a day trip, which I knew about, but the other had gone to take someone for a cup of coffee in the local town. I asked if they could bring it back to get me to the bus stop but she laughed at me. I got REALLY angry, smashed up my room then ran next door. I found a branch and started to hit myself with it as I went around. I found out that the car WAS still there, it hadn't even left.
What happened next I regret. I assulted the laughing member of staff with the stick (which was thankfully rotten and didn't do much damage) and pulled her hair. When she got angry with me I stormed out into the car park, snapped the windsheild wiper off the back of the car and smashed both the mirrors in. I thought 'If I can't go anywhere neither can anyone else'. I went back to the house, grabbed my things and went back to wait for the bus for a further hour and a half in the freezing cold.
I would like to point out that I don't blame my conditions for the way I behaved, however they didn't help. My psychologist was as 'helpful' as ever (sarcasm) by suggesting that I DO know how to control my anger, I am just choosing not to. If I had been given a choice in the matter I definately wouldn't have done what I did. I just need some help to learn how to deal with this build up of things. I described it to my psychologist like I am a bottle getting filled bit by bit with fizz. Every event puts more and more fizz into me until I explode. He told me I was talking like a 6 year old. Thanks psychologist. I like you too... (more sarcasm).
Does anyone have ANY coping strategies because my psycho-git sure as heck doesn't give me any.BunnycuddlesConsumer 0
How can I ever get over what happened to me?
by Ahriman » Sat Nov 20, 2010 2:34 pm Hi, I'm new to the site, and I don't know how to say this so I'm going to just jump in with both feet and go for it. Although I have been suicidal over what I'm going to say, I put it in the anger mgmt section because this has opened within me an anger I never knew I had. I literally shake with fury when I think about this (which is all the time)
When I was in my teens, I was severely depressed, for reasons I'll discuss in other parts of the forum at a later date. Just for now know that I could have written the book on depression and wanting to die. But I pulled myself out of it. By the time I was 21 I was no longer depressed, I was a college student with a 3.8 GPA and I was on top of the world. Until I got "The Job". This was a very good job, not only was it very good money for a guy in his early 20s, but it was also getting me valuable experience in my chosen field of study. In short, I had a plan and was putting it into action.
Then I made a mistake. I took a better offer from another employer. When my old boss tried to talk me out of my two weeks notice, I calmly explained that it had nothing to do with her business only that I had a better opportunity elsewhere. At this she became very angry and said "people regret when they leave here"
Well, I didn't take her seriously and when my two weeks notice was up I naturally gathered my things and said goodbye to the staff and went to work at my new job the very next day (no day off). Well, everything was going great at my new job until I was contacted by police. When I went to speak with the police, they had not told me why I was there. As soon as they came into the room, they began to accuse me of scratching up my employer's three Mercedes. I could not believe it. Not only was I at work all day they claimed a witness had seen me do it, but my ex boss never has all three of her cars at her business at one time and I never knew where she lived. In short, I was being set up.
The cops were so hateful to me, they screamed and cussed at me. When finally they let me go I thought it was over. Then they showed up at my new job and arrested me, I was taken out in handcuffs in front of my boss and a room full of clients. I was fired for this. I was also charged with two felony counts of property damage and one misdemeanor. But I was unconcerned, I had a timecard proving I was at work during the exact hours the unnamed "witness" claimed to have seen me scratching her cars. I knew I would win.
Then, weird things started happening. The prosecutor was called out of town just before one trial date, so the prosecution had to ask for a continuance. Then the judge had to postpone the next trial date due to a banquet. Finally, by the time we were ready for the trial and it started, my lawyer noticed a discrepancy in the numbers. To make a long story short, the auto shop that had repainted the vehicles had combined the costs on one of the bills, making it look like damages were more expensive than they really were. Instead of two felonies, the charges were reduced to one felony and two misdemeanors. In light of this change, my lawyer asked for a continuance so he could prepare anew in light of the changes. The judge said the defense has continued the case twice already and that I was playing with the system. Note that the two continuances I was accused of were actually on the part of the prosecutor and the judge. This was actually the first continuance asked for by the defense. Didn't matter. The judge revoked my bond and sent me to jail pending trial two months later. I lost my new job (I had gotten a job at Wendy's) and I fell so far behind in my schoolwork I eventually had to drop out.
After 3 weeks in jail, I decided to take the plea bargain just to get out of jail. I still thought I had time to catch up on my studies so I wanted out as soon as possible, even though I had iron clad evidence that I was innocent. But that's not the worst of it. In the hearing the prosecutor read the ex boss' statements, and she claimed that she had fired me and that I had threatened her. She claimed she did not trust me and that things had gone missing and that she had fired me for that. You see how her lies are aimed towards me not getting another job?
So now here I sit, 25 years old and living with my mom. I had it all, a great job and excellent grades. I pulled myself up out of horrible depression, I did it all myself and I worked so hard to get my life on track. It was all taken from me by a vindictive ex boss. Now every time I fill out an application I have to list the "crime" I was convicted of, and it triggers me something awful. I remember how the police laughed at me when I started crying, begging them to believe that I was innocent. I remember the judge calling me a "little punk". I remember the look on the customer's faces as I was handcuffed in front of them. I feel like something inside of me has broken, and I have a word for what it makes me feel. Hate. I now know what hate feels like. I hate this woman, the police and that judge with every fiber of my being. I carry this with me everywhere I go, how can I ever move on? Is it even possible, or are somethings so traumatic they change who you are for good?
Thanks for reading this wall of text
When I was in my teens, I was severely depressed, for reasons I'll discuss in other parts of the forum at a later date. Just for now know that I could have written the book on depression and wanting to die. But I pulled myself out of it. By the time I was 21 I was no longer depressed, I was a college student with a 3.8 GPA and I was on top of the world. Until I got "The Job". This was a very good job, not only was it very good money for a guy in his early 20s, but it was also getting me valuable experience in my chosen field of study. In short, I had a plan and was putting it into action.
Then I made a mistake. I took a better offer from another employer. When my old boss tried to talk me out of my two weeks notice, I calmly explained that it had nothing to do with her business only that I had a better opportunity elsewhere. At this she became very angry and said "people regret when they leave here"
Well, I didn't take her seriously and when my two weeks notice was up I naturally gathered my things and said goodbye to the staff and went to work at my new job the very next day (no day off). Well, everything was going great at my new job until I was contacted by police. When I went to speak with the police, they had not told me why I was there. As soon as they came into the room, they began to accuse me of scratching up my employer's three Mercedes. I could not believe it. Not only was I at work all day they claimed a witness had seen me do it, but my ex boss never has all three of her cars at her business at one time and I never knew where she lived. In short, I was being set up.
The cops were so hateful to me, they screamed and cussed at me. When finally they let me go I thought it was over. Then they showed up at my new job and arrested me, I was taken out in handcuffs in front of my boss and a room full of clients. I was fired for this. I was also charged with two felony counts of property damage and one misdemeanor. But I was unconcerned, I had a timecard proving I was at work during the exact hours the unnamed "witness" claimed to have seen me scratching her cars. I knew I would win.
Then, weird things started happening. The prosecutor was called out of town just before one trial date, so the prosecution had to ask for a continuance. Then the judge had to postpone the next trial date due to a banquet. Finally, by the time we were ready for the trial and it started, my lawyer noticed a discrepancy in the numbers. To make a long story short, the auto shop that had repainted the vehicles had combined the costs on one of the bills, making it look like damages were more expensive than they really were. Instead of two felonies, the charges were reduced to one felony and two misdemeanors. In light of this change, my lawyer asked for a continuance so he could prepare anew in light of the changes. The judge said the defense has continued the case twice already and that I was playing with the system. Note that the two continuances I was accused of were actually on the part of the prosecutor and the judge. This was actually the first continuance asked for by the defense. Didn't matter. The judge revoked my bond and sent me to jail pending trial two months later. I lost my new job (I had gotten a job at Wendy's) and I fell so far behind in my schoolwork I eventually had to drop out.
After 3 weeks in jail, I decided to take the plea bargain just to get out of jail. I still thought I had time to catch up on my studies so I wanted out as soon as possible, even though I had iron clad evidence that I was innocent. But that's not the worst of it. In the hearing the prosecutor read the ex boss' statements, and she claimed that she had fired me and that I had threatened her. She claimed she did not trust me and that things had gone missing and that she had fired me for that. You see how her lies are aimed towards me not getting another job?
So now here I sit, 25 years old and living with my mom. I had it all, a great job and excellent grades. I pulled myself up out of horrible depression, I did it all myself and I worked so hard to get my life on track. It was all taken from me by a vindictive ex boss. Now every time I fill out an application I have to list the "crime" I was convicted of, and it triggers me something awful. I remember how the police laughed at me when I started crying, begging them to believe that I was innocent. I remember the judge calling me a "little punk". I remember the look on the customer's faces as I was handcuffed in front of them. I feel like something inside of me has broken, and I have a word for what it makes me feel. Hate. I now know what hate feels like. I hate this woman, the police and that judge with every fiber of my being. I carry this with me everywhere I go, how can I ever move on? Is it even possible, or are somethings so traumatic they change who you are for good?
Thanks for reading this wall of text
Express and retrieve
by gato1116 » Mon Nov 29, 2010 4:43 am I need to my emotions which I experienced in the past. That is why I am writing here tonight.
I had an acquaintance who slept with a politician and had money around 3000 dollars monthly.
Now she works for the ministry.
When I first heard about the fact of her going out with the politician, I felt sick. Second, I tried to ignore it. Third, I made a clear line between me and her.
I think she is one of the dirties people I have ever seen. I feel like spitting on her face saying you are a whore.
I will never make friends with such dirty people. NEVER!!:(gato1116Consumer 6
I had an acquaintance who slept with a politician and had money around 3000 dollars monthly.
Now she works for the ministry.
When I first heard about the fact of her going out with the politician, I felt sick. Second, I tried to ignore it. Third, I made a clear line between me and her.
I think she is one of the dirties people I have ever seen. I feel like spitting on her face saying you are a whore.
I will never make friends with such dirty people. NEVER!!:(gato1116Consumer 6
Can I post in here.. hormonal anger..
by griffin » Tue Nov 30, 2010 8:02 am HI, I suffer quiet horribly from pre menstrual anger. I even get to the point where I hate answering the millions of q's I get bombarded with by my family, and I snap back and tell them to figure it out and use their own brain, when I am like this I get withdrawn and dont want to talk.
My TTOTM is every 20 days and all over the place, sorry for too much info, but I am in some rage most of the time.
I think its because I worry excessively about every little detail and I get serverely overwhelmed very quickly, so everything matters and my irrational thoughts are not ok. Perfectionism might be at play and unrealistic expectations cause anger. I'm not very good at being perfect cause nothing turns out the way I would like
To be totally honest I just wish they would shut the heck up and leave me alonel. I am at a loss, and I am not content when I am like this.
I suffer from being too sensitive and want to be left alone which doenst make sense if I was sensitive I wouldnt want to tell them to go away and I do that alot.
I dont want to go on the pill or have an iud tp alter hormones cause I think they may make me angrier..
Half the time, I just answer without thinking about what they are asking. I dont concentrate, cause I am tense and grumpy.
How do you cope with the internal stuff but not make your family wear it.
I hate this personality.griffinConsumer 1
My TTOTM is every 20 days and all over the place, sorry for too much info, but I am in some rage most of the time.
I think its because I worry excessively about every little detail and I get serverely overwhelmed very quickly, so everything matters and my irrational thoughts are not ok. Perfectionism might be at play and unrealistic expectations cause anger. I'm not very good at being perfect cause nothing turns out the way I would like
To be totally honest I just wish they would shut the heck up and leave me alonel. I am at a loss, and I am not content when I am like this.
I suffer from being too sensitive and want to be left alone which doenst make sense if I was sensitive I wouldnt want to tell them to go away and I do that alot.
I dont want to go on the pill or have an iud tp alter hormones cause I think they may make me angrier..
Half the time, I just answer without thinking about what they are asking. I dont concentrate, cause I am tense and grumpy.
How do you cope with the internal stuff but not make your family wear it.
I hate this personality.griffinConsumer 1
Rage and control
by circlhill » Sun Dec 05, 2010 6:03 am Since I was about 6 or 7 I've have these bouts of internal rage and desire to dominate small animals. The first instance I can remember was this aggressive behavior towards a cat. I would act coy and intense towards it, scaring it into hiding under the bed for example. The more scared and "week" it appeared, the more antagonized and intensely involved with prowling after it I would become. I never hurt the cat but wanted to. Still to this day I have the tendency to do this, but know that it is wrong. Although, I never feel guilty about having the thoughts of doing so.
The same goes for past relationships with women, in terms of guiltless hurting. I get involved, and love the person very much, but at the same time do subtle things to push them away. This subterfuge ultimately lands the relationship in a confusing state of worry and misunderstanding, and my partner's efforts to fix things just makes it worse. At that point in the process I feel no guilt, and revel the other person's sadness, disappointment, and hurt. It's kinda like taking the one thing they have always wished for in life and completely spoiling it for them.
My question: What the hell is wrong with me?circlhillConsumer 0
The same goes for past relationships with women, in terms of guiltless hurting. I get involved, and love the person very much, but at the same time do subtle things to push them away. This subterfuge ultimately lands the relationship in a confusing state of worry and misunderstanding, and my partner's efforts to fix things just makes it worse. At that point in the process I feel no guilt, and revel the other person's sadness, disappointment, and hurt. It's kinda like taking the one thing they have always wished for in life and completely spoiling it for them.
My question: What the hell is wrong with me?circlhillConsumer 0
Losing my friends due to my anger
by lagringasarah » Sat Jan 01, 2011 11:32 am Hi to anyone who is reading this and thankyou if you reply.
Anger has been ruining all my relationships lately. I have lost a lot of friends over the last couple of years, so many I won't have any left soon. Some of them have been draining me anyway but I have gotten to the point where I have realised I am the common denominator here. I hate the way I can't control my temper. My dad is the same way and I hate that part of him and I hate that I see it in myself.
I was an angry teenager but I didn't really express the anger, it was more directed at myself. At that age I was painfully shy and really insecure. At the age of 20 I pretty much made peace with myself and was happy for a couple of years. Then when I was 22 a close friend died and I blamed myself for his death. I won't go into the details unless someone wants me to. I have pretty much stopped blaming myself for his death but feel I could have treated him better. In all the years I was unhappy with myself I never questioned that I was a good person, but now I feel that I am a bad person and I don't know if I can ever get back to liking myself.
Over the last couple of years (I'm 24 now, soon to turn 25) I have been losing my temper a lot at all the people close to me. Then I hate myself for doing so and feel I'm a horrible person for treating them that way. And I know in my heart that until I can learn to love myself again I'm going to keep on doing this but it's so hard. I have been trying to get myself back on track by doing exercise, eating well, and meditating, esp loving-kindness meditation. But I don't really see an improvement yet. I lost it at my landlord earlier and I lost it at one of my friends a couple of days ago.
I can't go on like this. If anyone has any suggestions or just wants to tell me their story I'd appreciate it.lagringasarahConsumer 0
Anger has been ruining all my relationships lately. I have lost a lot of friends over the last couple of years, so many I won't have any left soon. Some of them have been draining me anyway but I have gotten to the point where I have realised I am the common denominator here. I hate the way I can't control my temper. My dad is the same way and I hate that part of him and I hate that I see it in myself.
I was an angry teenager but I didn't really express the anger, it was more directed at myself. At that age I was painfully shy and really insecure. At the age of 20 I pretty much made peace with myself and was happy for a couple of years. Then when I was 22 a close friend died and I blamed myself for his death. I won't go into the details unless someone wants me to. I have pretty much stopped blaming myself for his death but feel I could have treated him better. In all the years I was unhappy with myself I never questioned that I was a good person, but now I feel that I am a bad person and I don't know if I can ever get back to liking myself.
Over the last couple of years (I'm 24 now, soon to turn 25) I have been losing my temper a lot at all the people close to me. Then I hate myself for doing so and feel I'm a horrible person for treating them that way. And I know in my heart that until I can learn to love myself again I'm going to keep on doing this but it's so hard. I have been trying to get myself back on track by doing exercise, eating well, and meditating, esp loving-kindness meditation. But I don't really see an improvement yet. I lost it at my landlord earlier and I lost it at one of my friends a couple of days ago.
I can't go on like this. If anyone has any suggestions or just wants to tell me their story I'd appreciate it.lagringasarahConsumer 0
Anger and physical abuse
by harleydog » Fri Jan 14, 2011 4:09 am My wife and I have had a pretty rocky marriage. We have three wonderful kids and get along at times. My wife is never wrong about anything and belittles me constantantlhy and is always trying to control everything I do. I want to just control myself and it has nothing to do with trying to control her. After some counseling sessions and some research, I thing my wife may be a narcissist or borderline personality disorder. She will not speak to me for days for something trivial such as leaving a dish in the sink or not saying something the right way. she can do whatever she wants to me but you do the same to her you had better watch out. She twists everything around and makes me believe that everything is all my fault. I eventually have enough of this behavior and usually have angry outbursts, yell at her, call her names and yes I have gotten physical with her. I often times leave the situation and go outside and do what I can to cool down, eventually coming back to her in the same state of mind. I have extreme guilt after doing these things to her and often times the things she did to me to get me mad are cancelled out because I apologize and apologize more to try to make her forgive me. Seems I am constantly apologizing and she has honestly never said she is sorry one time in twelve years of us being together.
How do you handle situations when you are the only person that is ever wrong and the other person just keeps pushing. I am definitely not condoning my behavior by saying it is ok. I have been to anger management for about fifteen sessions and the therapist told me I that I know what to do, but when I thrust myself into this situation and she keeps doing these things I eventually get tired of her attacks. I simply want to get along and not be controlled and manipulated. I hate what I do and say and want to change. No matter what she does I should never do the things I have done and said.harleydogConsumer 5
How do you handle situations when you are the only person that is ever wrong and the other person just keeps pushing. I am definitely not condoning my behavior by saying it is ok. I have been to anger management for about fifteen sessions and the therapist told me I that I know what to do, but when I thrust myself into this situation and she keeps doing these things I eventually get tired of her attacks. I simply want to get along and not be controlled and manipulated. I hate what I do and say and want to change. No matter what she does I should never do the things I have done and said.harleydogConsumer 5
Trying to manipulate me!
by Murderface » Mon Jan 17, 2011 10:27 pm Here's the story. I went to the club with my flat mate, she bought me a drink when I ran out of money. I said I'd buy her one back and then I took out some money and bought her one. We get back to the flat I am completely hammered and everyone orders pizza (it isn't cheap here). I pay for half of it, and ask for the change. The girl tells me I stole her drink, made up some elaborate lie and then takes all the change! I was confused and obviously more agreeable because I was drunk. When she left the room my other flat mates told me she had lied to me and also eaten most of the food! I go to bed and wake up the next day and remember exactly what happened the night before, and remember buying her a drink and giving it to her. I tell her when I see her, and she tells me I'm right and that she remembered incorrectly and she owed me a small amount of money (less than half the true amount). She lied to me again. And she never even paid me that. I asked her again a couple days later after she bought a $#%
I can't find it........
by NIgirl » Thu Jan 27, 2011 7:31 pm According to my C.. I have a lot of repressed anger which is causing me so much grief in terms of my depression and anxiety! But before you can deal with anger and learn to manage it in a healthy way don't you have to be able to access it first!! Thing is I can't! I've repressed so many emotions all my life..it was how I coped with things as a child but now I'm desperate to sort my life out so I need to tap into this anger...but how? Can anyone help?NIgirlConsumer 0
When angry doesn't even cut it...
by GreyAwareness » Fri Feb 04, 2011 10:15 am Rage.Those times when I'm so angry I just want to scream at the world and everyone in it, and hit things until they make me feel better. Those times I know I'm angry but can't do a damned thing about it - and cry because the world sucks - and if I wasn't so afraid... dammit!!!
I remember the first time I hit someone. I was 10, and in primary school. A bunch of other girls were surrounding me, taunting me, and calling me names; my vision went weird and I swung my arm out to keep them away - catching the ringleader on the shoulder - I bruised her with a slap.
It was also the time I first found out I was a little bigger and stronger than all of them.
I've always been big - call it fat, whatever ... I'm 5 foot 8 (when I bother to stretch out) and built like a brick outhouse (according to my mother).
Anyhow... the girl bruised and I got in trouble.
That was my trigger point. I couldn't hold my anger in any more after that.Now I "fly off the handle" (apparently) every time someone says something.
I don't remember hitting another person until I was in secondary school (around 15 years old). This kid kept ignoring me when I tried to tell him that a teacher wasn't in the classroom, but he went to look anyway. Looking back I know I was angry because he didn't believe me - I'm not one known for lying about such petty things. So he got bruised too.
Now, because my mother never says anything to her, my TEN YEAR OLD SISTER has started saying and doing things that make me angry - and she KNOWS it hurts me. I'm 25 in a week and a ten year old is bullying me. I feel pathetic and don't want to say anything to mum because I know what she will say. My sister makes me angry, and then she and mum grin at eachother as if to say "that was easy, wasn't it?" What do I do?
I'm on the edge as it is. I have never shown anger towards either of them, or hit them. And this morning, she bursts into my room, talking in a loud voice (I have been ill with flu - it hurts... badly) and starts giving me a list of instructions to do during the day while she is out.
Now, I wouldn't mind if she ASKED. I can never say no to her - ever. There is no two ways about it. I either do what she wants or I'm out on the street with nothing. But asking never hurt anyone right?
So now I'm sitting at the computer, after having finished the tasks she set, and finally getting my head around what she said to me this morning before she left.
"Don't have a mental fit or breakdown while I'm out. Next door is in and you'll make her have one instead. Be silent and everyone will be happy."
Is this a normal thing for a parent to say? Should I just take this as encouragement to calm down before I do something I'll regret?
I'm so angry that she said this to me - I wasn't even angry before she started going on about me having some sort of "mental breakdown" - now I can't seem to stop crying from the anger.
Talking to her is out of the question - she just fobs it off as me being "stupid" - and I don't have anyone else.
There are so many times I wish I could tell her how I feel, but until I leave home (if that ever happens), I'm stuck here, and hate it.
I would go cry myself to sleep if I didn't know she'd yell as soon as she got back. "Gone up to your bed AGAIN, have you?" - and all sorts of other things that make me feel worthless.
Any advice on how to deal with this?
And please don't tell me to talk to her - I just can't.
--- speaking of next door - she's just turned her music up - LOUD... which is just ... rude, dammit.My Search Continues...
I remember the first time I hit someone. I was 10, and in primary school. A bunch of other girls were surrounding me, taunting me, and calling me names; my vision went weird and I swung my arm out to keep them away - catching the ringleader on the shoulder - I bruised her with a slap.
It was also the time I first found out I was a little bigger and stronger than all of them.
I've always been big - call it fat, whatever ... I'm 5 foot 8 (when I bother to stretch out) and built like a brick outhouse (according to my mother).
Anyhow... the girl bruised and I got in trouble.
That was my trigger point. I couldn't hold my anger in any more after that.Now I "fly off the handle" (apparently) every time someone says something.
I don't remember hitting another person until I was in secondary school (around 15 years old). This kid kept ignoring me when I tried to tell him that a teacher wasn't in the classroom, but he went to look anyway. Looking back I know I was angry because he didn't believe me - I'm not one known for lying about such petty things. So he got bruised too.
Now, because my mother never says anything to her, my TEN YEAR OLD SISTER has started saying and doing things that make me angry - and she KNOWS it hurts me. I'm 25 in a week and a ten year old is bullying me. I feel pathetic and don't want to say anything to mum because I know what she will say. My sister makes me angry, and then she and mum grin at eachother as if to say "that was easy, wasn't it?" What do I do?
I'm on the edge as it is. I have never shown anger towards either of them, or hit them. And this morning, she bursts into my room, talking in a loud voice (I have been ill with flu - it hurts... badly) and starts giving me a list of instructions to do during the day while she is out.
Now, I wouldn't mind if she ASKED. I can never say no to her - ever. There is no two ways about it. I either do what she wants or I'm out on the street with nothing. But asking never hurt anyone right?
So now I'm sitting at the computer, after having finished the tasks she set, and finally getting my head around what she said to me this morning before she left.
"Don't have a mental fit or breakdown while I'm out. Next door is in and you'll make her have one instead. Be silent and everyone will be happy."
Is this a normal thing for a parent to say? Should I just take this as encouragement to calm down before I do something I'll regret?
I'm so angry that she said this to me - I wasn't even angry before she started going on about me having some sort of "mental breakdown" - now I can't seem to stop crying from the anger.
Talking to her is out of the question - she just fobs it off as me being "stupid" - and I don't have anyone else.
There are so many times I wish I could tell her how I feel, but until I leave home (if that ever happens), I'm stuck here, and hate it.
I would go cry myself to sleep if I didn't know she'd yell as soon as she got back. "Gone up to your bed AGAIN, have you?" - and all sorts of other things that make me feel worthless.
Any advice on how to deal with this?
And please don't tell me to talk to her - I just can't.
--- speaking of next door - she's just turned her music up - LOUD... which is just ... rude, dammit.My Search Continues...
Anger issues
by katana » Sun Feb 20, 2011 6:55 pm Recently i realised anger is central to a lot of my problems.
Mood disorder - Most importantly, im not only driving the highs off anger, the same has been happening with the lows
Mood disorder - Most importantly, im not only driving the highs off anger, the same has been happening with the lows
Husband's anger/intolerance is real problem
by SickTired » Tue Feb 22, 2011 6:07 pm New here, and, boy, do I need some support and advice. My husband of 17 years, Bruce, is brilliant. I mean unusually smart. He also:
- is paranoid of friends, family and acquaintances (He assumes people don’t like him and is resentful even when there is no reason.)
- has feelings of worthlessness that he didn’t become more successful (His mother was hoping for a senator at least, and he’s only written two books and is a successful, well-paid state worker);
- has (I think) real fear of the
- is paranoid of friends, family and acquaintances (He assumes people don’t like him and is resentful even when there is no reason.)
- has feelings of worthlessness that he didn’t become more successful (His mother was hoping for a senator at least, and he’s only written two books and is a successful, well-paid state worker);
- has (I think) real fear of the
Guilt and Forgiveness
by daya » Fri Feb 25, 2011 10:53 pm I have been angry for along time always yelling getting mad over everything. No physical anger but getting mad all the time at my children is just as bad. I was in a mentally abusive relationship, drugs, adulterly, controlling by my ex. I felt like nothing and the only thing I had to keep from going nuts is my sadness and anger. I was also abused as a child and my mother was a very manipulative and controlling person. My father tolerated that he told me he would never find a faithful woman like my mother. I became the same person I was determined I never be. I can't blame anyone but myself because you have a choice as an adult you can't blame your parents anymore. Well I finally distance myself from the abuse but as far as forgiveness that is something that I don't think I will ever achieve. Whenever I get in an argument or get mad at anything I wonder am I turning into what I was before. I can't get mad at anything now because my previous behavior is always brought up. I kind of distance myself from my family. Its a breath of fresh air to be around people that see you with a clean slate.
Its easier to want to be a better person when your around positive. I can say I am sorry forever and I can't take away their pain and anger at me. I wanted to be everything to everyone. That perfect mother, perfect wife, perfect employee. I became nothing to no one. My penance is that i will never be seen as nothing else but an angry woman no matter what I do. I hate to keep distance from my daughter because when I am around her I have to agree with her on everything the moment I don't I am the angry person. I like to be around new people because I can be the person I should have been. Does anyone understand what I am going through.dayaConsumer 0
Its easier to want to be a better person when your around positive. I can say I am sorry forever and I can't take away their pain and anger at me. I wanted to be everything to everyone. That perfect mother, perfect wife, perfect employee. I became nothing to no one. My penance is that i will never be seen as nothing else but an angry woman no matter what I do. I hate to keep distance from my daughter because when I am around her I have to agree with her on everything the moment I don't I am the angry person. I like to be around new people because I can be the person I should have been. Does anyone understand what I am going through.dayaConsumer 0
Falling down.
by MistuhDead » Sun Feb 27, 2011 10:58 am I am not sure where to begin with this, I'm acutely aware this is a bit uncomfortable for me and I am vaguely worried I will find myself taunted for this.
But all the same, I am taking a step forward. Right, here we go.
I have a fictional utility worker I've always referred to as "Mistuh Dead". Now, Mistuh Dead has always been content to toil in the background, the dutiful (if not cutely macabre) and harmless janitor that sweeps up the negative thoughts and emotions one has during the course of an average day. Mistuh Dead is a fictional entity, a silly name for something that encompasses the worst aspects of the mind; hatred, anger, wrath, cruelty and those sort of things. Unfortunately my life, particularly my youth and adolescence, were little more than a series of events that more or less forced Mistuh Dead to work an inordinate amount of overtime without word or complaint. Abuse, both physical and emotional have been hallmarks of my family. I was always pitted against my sibling, and invariably I was found to be lacking. Being proud of something was dangerous territory for me because if it was found out, it was criticized and I would feel very shamed. Likewise showing any emotion beyond what the family wanted me to feel was treacherous waters. If something upset or scared me but I was expected to be happy or entertained, then I had to express the emotion that was expected of me. My upbringing has helped forge and mold me into someone who was quiet and very gentle-minded, I have always been markedly different from my peers. I seem to have an absence of a competitive nature, likewise I don't seem to possess any real or tangible form of ego or inflated pride. I was taught very early on from my grandmother that "love means kneeling before her." I was to do as she said, to believe in what she spoke, fear her wrath with every fiber of my being, and never disobey.
Between her, several very violent-tempered stepfathers and a lack of a sense of self, I came to embrace a state of ever-calm. I would absorb insults and injuries and Mistuh Dead would tote them away in his seemingly endless storehouse. I would redirect my frustration and anger to Mistuh Dead who would in turn cart it to the place of infinite storage. Everyone who knows me generally has the same comments regarding me, I've gained a reputation for being mellow and laid back, people see me as an incredibly down to earth fellow who generally takes life with an extremely chilled out attitude. A lot of people have done me wrong multiple times and I simply say "Don't worry about it, it's cool." but it truly isn't. It is far from being cool. In the past four years, I've recently found myself contending with a very abusive relationship. Some days, it is great and fine. Other days, I am subjected to a great deal of verbal and emotional abuse. But something has changed, Mistuh Dead isn't carting the hurt and anger off to the storehouse anymore. He hasn't been for the past three years. I've just been getting madder, and madder, and madder.
I finally exploded earlier this month (2/15/2011) and ended up destroying half the kitchen by slinging plates, pots, the dinner I was cooking, and silverware around. I raged, The woman in my life was ranting with the usual attack of how useless I am, how rotten and uncaring of a father I am to our son (referring to me as "your biological sperm donor" to him), and just how in general my lack of utility sickens her. I felt a sudden surge of hate so black that it was as terrifying to me as it was uncontrollable. Something broke inside me and I can't fix it or find a way to make Mistuh Dead willing to take it away. I haven't simmered down, I haven't let anything go. It is as if Mistuh Dead grinned and took every wrong thing done or said to me and let it flood out. Something has been unleashed and it is very violent and very cold-hearted. I find myself being blunt with people, with no care if it offends, I find myself ready to injure someone if my vastly diminished threshold for aggravation gets exceeded, and I find that same black fury just bubbling under the surface.
I have gotten to the point where I am open with my hatred and mistrust of people, I have absolutely no problem being intimidating now, nor do I have issue with verbally destroying someone. I seem to have become something that is terrifyingly cruel and remorseless, and a good part of me isn't really objecting to the change.
However, the part of me that IS objecting to this change is what brought me to this forum. In my moments of solitude (when I'm not caring for my son, doing housework, or cleaning) I find myself realizing it is a countdown before my son gets subjected to the same brutal treatment I am unleashing on the world. I already find myself quick to snap at him and I've found myself thinking rather less-than-pleasant thoughts about being a father.While I haven't struck him or his mother yet, I fear it is just a matter of time before I am finally provoked to the point where I do cross that line.
It would seem that Mistuh Dead has finally protested, that he dropped the push-broom that faithfully swept all those bad feelings and thoughts away only to pick up a scythe and open the doors to the storage facility that housed all that pent-up negativity. It would seem Mistuh Dead is standing on the roof of that storehouse and is grinning that everything is finally pouring out.Anything you cannot relinquish when it has outlived its usefulness, possesses you. And in this materialistic age, a great many of us are possessed by our possessions.MistuhDeadConsumer 0
But all the same, I am taking a step forward. Right, here we go.
I have a fictional utility worker I've always referred to as "Mistuh Dead". Now, Mistuh Dead has always been content to toil in the background, the dutiful (if not cutely macabre) and harmless janitor that sweeps up the negative thoughts and emotions one has during the course of an average day. Mistuh Dead is a fictional entity, a silly name for something that encompasses the worst aspects of the mind; hatred, anger, wrath, cruelty and those sort of things. Unfortunately my life, particularly my youth and adolescence, were little more than a series of events that more or less forced Mistuh Dead to work an inordinate amount of overtime without word or complaint. Abuse, both physical and emotional have been hallmarks of my family. I was always pitted against my sibling, and invariably I was found to be lacking. Being proud of something was dangerous territory for me because if it was found out, it was criticized and I would feel very shamed. Likewise showing any emotion beyond what the family wanted me to feel was treacherous waters. If something upset or scared me but I was expected to be happy or entertained, then I had to express the emotion that was expected of me. My upbringing has helped forge and mold me into someone who was quiet and very gentle-minded, I have always been markedly different from my peers. I seem to have an absence of a competitive nature, likewise I don't seem to possess any real or tangible form of ego or inflated pride. I was taught very early on from my grandmother that "love means kneeling before her." I was to do as she said, to believe in what she spoke, fear her wrath with every fiber of my being, and never disobey.
Between her, several very violent-tempered stepfathers and a lack of a sense of self, I came to embrace a state of ever-calm. I would absorb insults and injuries and Mistuh Dead would tote them away in his seemingly endless storehouse. I would redirect my frustration and anger to Mistuh Dead who would in turn cart it to the place of infinite storage. Everyone who knows me generally has the same comments regarding me, I've gained a reputation for being mellow and laid back, people see me as an incredibly down to earth fellow who generally takes life with an extremely chilled out attitude. A lot of people have done me wrong multiple times and I simply say "Don't worry about it, it's cool." but it truly isn't. It is far from being cool. In the past four years, I've recently found myself contending with a very abusive relationship. Some days, it is great and fine. Other days, I am subjected to a great deal of verbal and emotional abuse. But something has changed, Mistuh Dead isn't carting the hurt and anger off to the storehouse anymore. He hasn't been for the past three years. I've just been getting madder, and madder, and madder.
I finally exploded earlier this month (2/15/2011) and ended up destroying half the kitchen by slinging plates, pots, the dinner I was cooking, and silverware around. I raged, The woman in my life was ranting with the usual attack of how useless I am, how rotten and uncaring of a father I am to our son (referring to me as "your biological sperm donor" to him), and just how in general my lack of utility sickens her. I felt a sudden surge of hate so black that it was as terrifying to me as it was uncontrollable. Something broke inside me and I can't fix it or find a way to make Mistuh Dead willing to take it away. I haven't simmered down, I haven't let anything go. It is as if Mistuh Dead grinned and took every wrong thing done or said to me and let it flood out. Something has been unleashed and it is very violent and very cold-hearted. I find myself being blunt with people, with no care if it offends, I find myself ready to injure someone if my vastly diminished threshold for aggravation gets exceeded, and I find that same black fury just bubbling under the surface.
I have gotten to the point where I am open with my hatred and mistrust of people, I have absolutely no problem being intimidating now, nor do I have issue with verbally destroying someone. I seem to have become something that is terrifyingly cruel and remorseless, and a good part of me isn't really objecting to the change.
However, the part of me that IS objecting to this change is what brought me to this forum. In my moments of solitude (when I'm not caring for my son, doing housework, or cleaning) I find myself realizing it is a countdown before my son gets subjected to the same brutal treatment I am unleashing on the world. I already find myself quick to snap at him and I've found myself thinking rather less-than-pleasant thoughts about being a father.While I haven't struck him or his mother yet, I fear it is just a matter of time before I am finally provoked to the point where I do cross that line.
It would seem that Mistuh Dead has finally protested, that he dropped the push-broom that faithfully swept all those bad feelings and thoughts away only to pick up a scythe and open the doors to the storage facility that housed all that pent-up negativity. It would seem Mistuh Dead is standing on the roof of that storehouse and is grinning that everything is finally pouring out.Anything you cannot relinquish when it has outlived its usefulness, possesses you. And in this materialistic age, a great many of us are possessed by our possessions.MistuhDeadConsumer 0
I feel like a ticking bomb
by Dub86 » Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:23 pm I don't know if I'm using this right. I've never used a forum before.
I'm really struggling to control myself. I feel like I'm constantly on edge and ready to blow my top. I have agruments with my partner like any couple but I've found myself having to control my thoughts when we are arguing. I feel like I'm going to lose control and hurt her.
She doesn't know this. She just sees us argue then I walk out during but it because I have to. I worry if I can't get away from it one day I will snap. This isnt just limited to my parnter it can be with anyone.
My other problem is I have suicidal thoughts alot. I have a good life and don't generally feel depressed or down but sometimes I have to really watch what I'm thinking. Some times my brain says jump in front of that truck, or just step of the bridge.
I feel like I'm 3 people . 1 Angry aggressive person, 1 sucidial person and 1 normal rational person who it's trying to keep the other two in control. Rational me is getting tired constantly talking myself out of things
Feel a bit better for getting that off my chest nowDub86Consumer 0
I'm really struggling to control myself. I feel like I'm constantly on edge and ready to blow my top. I have agruments with my partner like any couple but I've found myself having to control my thoughts when we are arguing. I feel like I'm going to lose control and hurt her.
She doesn't know this. She just sees us argue then I walk out during but it because I have to. I worry if I can't get away from it one day I will snap. This isnt just limited to my parnter it can be with anyone.
My other problem is I have suicidal thoughts alot. I have a good life and don't generally feel depressed or down but sometimes I have to really watch what I'm thinking. Some times my brain says jump in front of that truck, or just step of the bridge.
I feel like I'm 3 people . 1 Angry aggressive person, 1 sucidial person and 1 normal rational person who it's trying to keep the other two in control. Rational me is getting tired constantly talking myself out of things
Feel a bit better for getting that off my chest nowDub86Consumer 0
Anger Amnesia
by Son » Sat Mar 12, 2011 3:56 am This is similar to a couple of other threads on here but a little different. I have amnesia about getting angry. My ehole life I never felt very angry but lately I've been having rages triggered by a lot of things. It happens when I think people are being unfair, are lying, or trying to trick me. I want to bash their heads in. I've lost control a few times and damaged property. Afterwards I forget that it happened. My husband is there for a lit if and reminds me of the rages which ive collectively forgotten. I may remember that SOMETHING bad happened but have no details. I'm told I'm not myself and irrational. Also, I'll forget small anger too. If I'm a little angry with someone and then walk away, I'll calm down and come back having totally forgotten I was angry with them
Does anyone else ever have this happen to them?SonConsumer 3
Does anyone else ever have this happen to them?SonConsumer 3
please help me to deal with this
by DC1982 » Thu Mar 17, 2011 9:13 pm My wife suffers from uncommon fits of rage. Oftentimes turning to violence. I can only explain it by saying when she gets angry there is no filter in her head and all rational thinking is out the window. She says things like Die mother #####& or balls her fist up and hits and breaks and smashes things. This is usually triggered by something little that really shouldn't matter. Like dishes being in the wrong place or dirt on the carpet. Often I find her blaming me for her being unhappy or mad that day. I'm no saint sometimes I lash back in anger with my words saying things I shouldn't. I have never hit her back "she's really too little to hurt me much with her punches they just anger me." Often these fits of rage are followed by remorse the next day and back to rational thinking. I love her and when things are good things are really good and when things are bad they are extremely bad. Can anyone give me any advice on what I can do to better deal with the situation and maybe what I can do to help my wife? ThanksDC1982Consumer 0
Anger ambivalence
by anonymoussun » Fri Mar 18, 2011 4:44 am Has anyone here ever felt the person that you truly love, you feel negative feelings towards him/her that include hate?
Since I have just recently discovered this term ambivalence and it means mixed feelings.anonymoussunConsumer 1
Since I have just recently discovered this term ambivalence and it means mixed feelings.anonymoussunConsumer 1
Controlling myself...
So. My anger isn't totally out of control, but it's really not good at the moment - I get triggered not by normal things, but the innocuous, and I am always tempted towards violence which I tend to inflict on myself (either self-scratching or punching) and I can't stop myself screaming/shouting. I made a real scene the other day in public, which I regret, and I am usually able to avoid; I tend to take myself out of such anger-inducing situations and instead keeping myself out the way, letting out my anger on myself/throwing things/etc.
Obviously, self-harm isn't a great way to deal with anger, and I don't know what to do with it in the first place. Any ideas? I'm trying my best with what techniques I have, but I now need to exchange the tricks I have for ones that are less self-damaging.
Thanks!jemstoneConsumer 0
Anger problems as a block to developing assertiveness skills
by Nightowl9910 » Tue Mar 22, 2011 9:10 pm Decided to post this, as was wondering out of curiosity if anybody else here has ever had this kind of problem?
Developing assertiveness skills is an aim of mine right now. But unfortunately this is proving to be a big obstacle. For me it's one thing when trying to practice these skills on somebody who I already know is not likely to respond in an aggressive way. Even then I still find it difficult at times - but at least not impossible. However, if I try this out on somebody, only to have them react in really aggressive verbal ways towards me - or else am already feeling in a highly angry state towards them - I find putting this into practice pretty much impossible. As tend to end up becoming very aggressive myself to the point of verbally exploding or else coming very near to it, and feeling the only way to prevent the problem from getting out of control is to not interact with the person. Any good intentions I had end up going straight out of the window. I really want to overcome this problem because feel it's really getting in the way. But so far haven't found any self help information I've found useful. It's very frustrating.
Developing assertiveness skills is an aim of mine right now. But unfortunately this is proving to be a big obstacle. For me it's one thing when trying to practice these skills on somebody who I already know is not likely to respond in an aggressive way. Even then I still find it difficult at times - but at least not impossible. However, if I try this out on somebody, only to have them react in really aggressive verbal ways towards me - or else am already feeling in a highly angry state towards them - I find putting this into practice pretty much impossible. As tend to end up becoming very aggressive myself to the point of verbally exploding or else coming very near to it, and feeling the only way to prevent the problem from getting out of control is to not interact with the person. Any good intentions I had end up going straight out of the window. I really want to overcome this problem because feel it's really getting in the way. But so far haven't found any self help information I've found useful. It's very frustrating.
You me everyone are not born evil.
by HelperDude » Wed Mar 23, 2011 1:47 am Before I had serious anger issues. I hated a group of people who I believe to be idiots because they are poor and content of feeble things and shallow aspirations in life. I literally lash out on them only to get humiliated at the end for I am only one and they are legion.
After a few bouts I realized that I need to find my peace or the next encounter might be dangerous.
In my luck I watched a youtube video about the resource based economy by Jacque Fresco, the founder of the Venus Project, he taught that people's beliefs and identities are the result of his/her surroundings and associations. Its not genetic or born with you if you do things that other people don't understand. If you were born in the USA but was raised in Germany during the 1900's you will be a Nazi even if your parents are American. If you were born in an Amazon tribe, you will be a tribesman... etc.
This made me understand that I may dislike the person infront of me but if I grew up in the life they lived I would also be thinking the same, eating the same, dressing the same and laugh on the same silly jokes they laugh on. From that on I stopped feeling hatred or anger for long periods of time towards other people. Actually it became HARD for me to be angry LOL.
I guess I will call it a healthy dose of anger which I find useful in accomplishing my goals in life like studying Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.HelperDudeConsumer 0
After a few bouts I realized that I need to find my peace or the next encounter might be dangerous.
In my luck I watched a youtube video about the resource based economy by Jacque Fresco, the founder of the Venus Project, he taught that people's beliefs and identities are the result of his/her surroundings and associations. Its not genetic or born with you if you do things that other people don't understand. If you were born in the USA but was raised in Germany during the 1900's you will be a Nazi even if your parents are American. If you were born in an Amazon tribe, you will be a tribesman... etc.
This made me understand that I may dislike the person infront of me but if I grew up in the life they lived I would also be thinking the same, eating the same, dressing the same and laugh on the same silly jokes they laugh on. From that on I stopped feeling hatred or anger for long periods of time towards other people. Actually it became HARD for me to be angry LOL.
I guess I will call it a healthy dose of anger which I find useful in accomplishing my goals in life like studying Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.HelperDudeConsumer 0
My approach to a particular nationality of people...
by bigbeing » Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:44 am Hi all,
I'm new here. I'm not really sure if I have an anger management issue or not, but just want to describe my situation.
I don't want to name the nationality specifically, except to say that it is a very large and up-and-coming nationality both economically and in terms of global influence. One reason I don't want to name the nationality is that I'm a newbie and don't want to break any forum rules that I'm unaware of.
I've been studying language X for quite a few years. My wife speaks the language and we speak language X to our son.
I often have a problem with members of that nationality basically doing three things:
1) Speaking to me in English, instead of language X.
2) Flattering me regarding my ability to speak language X.
3) Speculating or asking how I learned language X.
4) Referring to me as a "foreigner", even though the conversation takes place online or in my home country.
Part of the problem, specifically regarding point 4, is that I can't continue a friendship of any kind with a person who refers to me as a foreigner. This particularly includes other Westerners (i.e. like me) who stick up for the usage of the term. I get so angry with them and regard them as race-traitors in a sense.
Things came to a head slightly at Church the other day. My family and I usually go to an English speaking Church, but decided to go to a language X Church for a change, to see if it was time for a change. The first week went past with a few predictable minor incidents, like being spoken to in English, and flattered, etc.
Please understand that everyone who goes to that Church speaks language X, and it's only because of my skin colour that I'm treated any different. I want my treatment there, and everywhere else in a language X community to be the same, not special or different.
Anyhow, the second Sunday came. My wife took my son to Sunday school out the back, so I was alone. I was greeted in English because of my white face. I said (in language X) "Oh, come on! If I had wanted to speak English I would have gone to an English service! Please speak to me in language X!". Their reaction was "OK, OK, you speak very good language X." Meanwhile, there were arms flying everywhere trying to give me welcoming handshakes that I didn't want, because I already felt very annoyed.
They were so busy congratulating me and I was so busy trying to escape, that I didn't get the Church bulletin or anything.
I sat down in a spot that I thought would be nice and inconspicuous. Some people came over and pointed out to each other before sitting down that I preferred to speak language X. They saw themselves as my welcomers and sought to accompany me by sitting next to me. The first guy sat down and said, in English "Hi, how are you?" I said "Don't speak to me in English." He gave up trying and was replaced by another guy who sat next to me and said (in language X) "Why can you speak such good language X?" I said (in language X) "I'm here to worship, please I don't want to discuss my abilities." I turned and looked straight ahead. I could see out of the corner of my eyes that he was staring at me. He continued staring for another 30 seconds. He then said (in language X) "How long have you been studying language X?" I said "I'm here to worship, please I don't want to discuss my abilities."
I didn't actually have an anger outburst, but I felt angry and couldn't sleep. After midnight I went for a walk and called the minister at an hour I felt would be inconvenient for him. I told him (in language X) that I wouldn't be returning to his Church and gave him a fairly lengthy dialogue similar to my explanation above. He was very patient and calm in his responses.
I'm not really sure how to proceed with this whole problem. My anger is very real. But other than an inconvenient phone call here and there I'm not prone to huge outbursts. My wife thinks I'm over the top on this issue and doesn't like discussing it. I also feel that the stupidity and backwardness of these people is quite real too. This is one of many, many stories I could have put here. If they join an English-speaking club, group or Church they would usually be able to fit in without people carrying on about their background excessively. The unfairness of the whole thing just boggles my mind and makes me feel that the values of the whole world are upside down. On the other hand, I'm the common denominator of all these problems and need to take responsibility, reassess my priorities and/or learn to have a more forgiving attitude.
I'm very much a "big carrot and big stick" person. If I perceive someone as doing the right thing, I'll go out of my way to be friendly to him/her and accommodate them. If I think someone has done the wrong thing I burn with anger and lose sleep. I find I can't understand people who aren't "big carrot and big stick" people, who aren't given to overly attentive politeness and also don't get angry about perceived wrongs.
Sorry for being so wordy. If you read this (& especially if you constructively comment) you have my sincere thanks.Last edited by bigbeing on Thu Apr 07, 2011 10:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.bigbeingConsumer 0
I'm new here. I'm not really sure if I have an anger management issue or not, but just want to describe my situation.
I don't want to name the nationality specifically, except to say that it is a very large and up-and-coming nationality both economically and in terms of global influence. One reason I don't want to name the nationality is that I'm a newbie and don't want to break any forum rules that I'm unaware of.
I've been studying language X for quite a few years. My wife speaks the language and we speak language X to our son.
I often have a problem with members of that nationality basically doing three things:
1) Speaking to me in English, instead of language X.
2) Flattering me regarding my ability to speak language X.
3) Speculating or asking how I learned language X.
4) Referring to me as a "foreigner", even though the conversation takes place online or in my home country.
Part of the problem, specifically regarding point 4, is that I can't continue a friendship of any kind with a person who refers to me as a foreigner. This particularly includes other Westerners (i.e. like me) who stick up for the usage of the term. I get so angry with them and regard them as race-traitors in a sense.
Things came to a head slightly at Church the other day. My family and I usually go to an English speaking Church, but decided to go to a language X Church for a change, to see if it was time for a change. The first week went past with a few predictable minor incidents, like being spoken to in English, and flattered, etc.
Please understand that everyone who goes to that Church speaks language X, and it's only because of my skin colour that I'm treated any different. I want my treatment there, and everywhere else in a language X community to be the same, not special or different.
Anyhow, the second Sunday came. My wife took my son to Sunday school out the back, so I was alone. I was greeted in English because of my white face. I said (in language X) "Oh, come on! If I had wanted to speak English I would have gone to an English service! Please speak to me in language X!". Their reaction was "OK, OK, you speak very good language X." Meanwhile, there were arms flying everywhere trying to give me welcoming handshakes that I didn't want, because I already felt very annoyed.
They were so busy congratulating me and I was so busy trying to escape, that I didn't get the Church bulletin or anything.
I sat down in a spot that I thought would be nice and inconspicuous. Some people came over and pointed out to each other before sitting down that I preferred to speak language X. They saw themselves as my welcomers and sought to accompany me by sitting next to me. The first guy sat down and said, in English "Hi, how are you?" I said "Don't speak to me in English." He gave up trying and was replaced by another guy who sat next to me and said (in language X) "Why can you speak such good language X?" I said (in language X) "I'm here to worship, please I don't want to discuss my abilities." I turned and looked straight ahead. I could see out of the corner of my eyes that he was staring at me. He continued staring for another 30 seconds. He then said (in language X) "How long have you been studying language X?" I said "I'm here to worship, please I don't want to discuss my abilities."
I didn't actually have an anger outburst, but I felt angry and couldn't sleep. After midnight I went for a walk and called the minister at an hour I felt would be inconvenient for him. I told him (in language X) that I wouldn't be returning to his Church and gave him a fairly lengthy dialogue similar to my explanation above. He was very patient and calm in his responses.
I'm not really sure how to proceed with this whole problem. My anger is very real. But other than an inconvenient phone call here and there I'm not prone to huge outbursts. My wife thinks I'm over the top on this issue and doesn't like discussing it. I also feel that the stupidity and backwardness of these people is quite real too. This is one of many, many stories I could have put here. If they join an English-speaking club, group or Church they would usually be able to fit in without people carrying on about their background excessively. The unfairness of the whole thing just boggles my mind and makes me feel that the values of the whole world are upside down. On the other hand, I'm the common denominator of all these problems and need to take responsibility, reassess my priorities and/or learn to have a more forgiving attitude.
I'm very much a "big carrot and big stick" person. If I perceive someone as doing the right thing, I'll go out of my way to be friendly to him/her and accommodate them. If I think someone has done the wrong thing I burn with anger and lose sleep. I find I can't understand people who aren't "big carrot and big stick" people, who aren't given to overly attentive politeness and also don't get angry about perceived wrongs.
Sorry for being so wordy. If you read this (& especially if you constructively comment) you have my sincere thanks.Last edited by bigbeing on Thu Apr 07, 2011 10:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.bigbeingConsumer 0
Boyfriend wants to break up because he has anger problems...
by Samantha93 » Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:32 am So I'm 18, and he's 20. We've been dating for a few weeks, gone to movies, I met some of his family, and I honestly thought it was going fine. Just last weekend he admitted to me that he punched his Dad a few years ago in a fit of rage. He's never actually yelled at me for anything, or tried to hit me ever. After he told me about what happened with his Dad he said he wanted to break up with me. I don't understand this at all. He said some small things that I do really annoy him, and he's afraid of hurting me. I want to help him through this and he's such a great guy, and a pretty amazing friend. He's really been there for me... I don't want to lose him
Hate for everyone
by mixx54 » Sun Apr 03, 2011 6:09 am Hi i made this account here for the soul purpose of seeing if im a psycho or not...and id like some feedback from this
Ok here is my story...
when i was a little boy in my town no one has ever liked me i was always pushed around by other kids.
so i was always getting in fights in school and one time it got so bad a kid had to go to the emergancy room to get his nose repaired
he was bleeding alot...ever since i can remember people have shunned me out from everything almost...so basically ive always been alone and by myself. and then when i got to the age of 13 i moved because it got to out of hand... so when i got here ive learned to control my anger... but by doing that i was left with somthing new, ever since then ive hated "people" in general everyone i met i hated and all ive realy ever thought about doing is kinda killing everyone...not saying im gonna do it ever i have more self control than that...but people here have tried to get close to me so i looked to my brother for help and he said just act like ur happy with them...so i did and now its unbareable i cant stand it i acted normal in school for the first time in about a year everyone was shocked...and i just cant help it and all i wanna do is learn to stop thinking like this and relax and be a more peacefull person now but i cant seem to shake this feeling of pure hatred towards human kind....see this is one of the things ive been thinking
for some reason i cannot shake this feeling...
if anyone has a helping comment please post
or if u feel this way please post aswell i just feel alone...
i promise i would never kill somone this is just what ive been feeling so dont ever think im gonna murder people this was only put here because id like help...and to see if im just a psycho.
have a good day everyonemixx54Consumer 0
Ok here is my story...
when i was a little boy in my town no one has ever liked me i was always pushed around by other kids.
so i was always getting in fights in school and one time it got so bad a kid had to go to the emergancy room to get his nose repaired
he was bleeding alot...ever since i can remember people have shunned me out from everything almost...so basically ive always been alone and by myself. and then when i got to the age of 13 i moved because it got to out of hand... so when i got here ive learned to control my anger... but by doing that i was left with somthing new, ever since then ive hated "people" in general everyone i met i hated and all ive realy ever thought about doing is kinda killing everyone...not saying im gonna do it ever i have more self control than that...but people here have tried to get close to me so i looked to my brother for help and he said just act like ur happy with them...so i did and now its unbareable i cant stand it i acted normal in school for the first time in about a year everyone was shocked...and i just cant help it and all i wanna do is learn to stop thinking like this and relax and be a more peacefull person now but i cant seem to shake this feeling of pure hatred towards human kind....see this is one of the things ive been thinking
for some reason i cannot shake this feeling...
if anyone has a helping comment please post
or if u feel this way please post aswell i just feel alone...
i promise i would never kill somone this is just what ive been feeling so dont ever think im gonna murder people this was only put here because id like help...and to see if im just a psycho.
have a good day everyonemixx54Consumer 0
Can Overwhelm Shock and Anger lead to murder?
by Anhina » Sun Apr 10, 2011 4:49 am I really need your opinions for a research.
This is my scenario:
If someone scare you with something that you are most terrify of in this entire world just for a few laugh (prank), even though clearly the person is aware that you have told them not to ever do so, but they did anyway just to entertain themselves. Would you flip out and kill that person?
Also I would like to know
Is it possible for someone to have themselves under control all the time?
Would some prank turn into a murder scene (accidentally)?
Please help me get as many answer as possible.
Thank you so much for reading this and help me out.AnhinaConsumer 0
This is my scenario:
If someone scare you with something that you are most terrify of in this entire world just for a few laugh (prank), even though clearly the person is aware that you have told them not to ever do so, but they did anyway just to entertain themselves. Would you flip out and kill that person?
Also I would like to know
Is it possible for someone to have themselves under control all the time?
Would some prank turn into a murder scene (accidentally)?
Please help me get as many answer as possible.
Thank you so much for reading this and help me out.AnhinaConsumer 0
What Am I Supposed To Do
by jasmin » Sun Apr 24, 2011 3:49 pm Hi, 322! You could write down how you feel and tear up the paper or talk to someone more understanding. It's not ok that you feel like you have to take it out on yourself, you need support.forum-rules.php
To anyone on the forum - if I didn't reply to your post and we were already talking or if you just think that I might be able to help, please feel free to Private Message me.
To anyone on the forum - if I didn't reply to your post and we were already talking or if you just think that I might be able to help, please feel free to Private Message me.
What about GYMS like cure against Anger ?
by miromirante » Fri Apr 22, 2011 8:34 pm OK, my friends,
What you think to use gyms like way to avoid anger or to leave all your negative energy ?I'm A MAN with HIGH PERFORMANCE
What you think to use gyms like way to avoid anger or to leave all your negative energy ?I'm A MAN with HIGH PERFORMANCE
I'm angry
by KenWalker » Tue May 03, 2011 6:21 pm I've been on an anger spree recently. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I've kept in my anger for almost 24 years of my life. I've never had the reactionary muscles to be angry during the moment when it occurs. I usually try to diffuse things in a nice bullshit manner like my parents taught me. this created a very passive-aggressive personality in me that bottles up and ends up doing something crazy - like poisoning myself with alcohol.
I'm enjoying the anger I've been able to dish out on the spot. I never hold anything in. What changed is Lamictal's been helping me express myself better every day.
Te best thing is I feel great about it! I'm sort of on a power trip about it. I will have to learn to control my anger into small doses though and express it more properly. I apologize to the people in the past week and perhaps the coming weeks I've let out my wrath on as more than necessary.
I'm enjoying the anger I've been able to dish out on the spot. I never hold anything in. What changed is Lamictal's been helping me express myself better every day.
Te best thing is I feel great about it! I'm sort of on a power trip about it. I will have to learn to control my anger into small doses though and express it more properly. I apologize to the people in the past week and perhaps the coming weeks I've let out my wrath on as more than necessary.
Ranty intro - sorry.
by R.V » Thu May 05, 2011 7:14 am Hi all,
Long time lurker, first time poster. I hate my job, it stresses me right out. I'm looking for a new one, I'm seeing a therapist, I'm doing everything I can to change myself and my situation, and still I want to punch someone in the face nearly every day. I've developed carpal tunnel syndrome from this sh
Long time lurker, first time poster. I hate my job, it stresses me right out. I'm looking for a new one, I'm seeing a therapist, I'm doing everything I can to change myself and my situation, and still I want to punch someone in the face nearly every day. I've developed carpal tunnel syndrome from this sh
Childhood Bullying
by agirlbyanyothername » Tue May 10, 2011 1:48 pm I’m curious how many of you who deal with anger issues as adults were bullied, teased or rejected excessively as children? This is something I struggled with on an almost daily basis throughout most of my childhood and teens. I know people say that everyone gets picked on as a kid, but it’s so much different when you’re getting berated and tormented day in and day out, year after year.
All I ever heard when I was growing up was how stupid or ugly I was. My peers made it their mission to remind me of these things on a daily basis. The teachers didn’t care. Hell, some of them seemed to encourage it. I almost never spoke up or fought back. I learned that doing so would only instigate more attacks that I was too ill equipped to handle. Either that, or a teacher would overhear me and I would be the one to get punished. (I also learned you can treat people like garbage just so long as you don’t use curse words.)
I realize that to most people it’s silly to be upset over something that happened so long ago. I should have moved on by now, but I still seethe with anger when I think about the way I was mistreated. I believe those years of have fed an intense inferiority complex. I become very depressed and enraged whenever I feel someone is mocking or disrespecting me. (You can imagine how well this goes over in customer service!) I hate to be made to feel ugly or stupid. I tend to fantasize about revenge, probably because I never stood up for myself in the past and I can’t stand the idea of someone getting away with mistreating me now.
Anyway, I’m just wondering if anyone else’s anger might have manifested in this manner.http://anemicsunshine.tumblr.com/
All I ever heard when I was growing up was how stupid or ugly I was. My peers made it their mission to remind me of these things on a daily basis. The teachers didn’t care. Hell, some of them seemed to encourage it. I almost never spoke up or fought back. I learned that doing so would only instigate more attacks that I was too ill equipped to handle. Either that, or a teacher would overhear me and I would be the one to get punished. (I also learned you can treat people like garbage just so long as you don’t use curse words.)
I realize that to most people it’s silly to be upset over something that happened so long ago. I should have moved on by now, but I still seethe with anger when I think about the way I was mistreated. I believe those years of have fed an intense inferiority complex. I become very depressed and enraged whenever I feel someone is mocking or disrespecting me. (You can imagine how well this goes over in customer service!) I hate to be made to feel ugly or stupid. I tend to fantasize about revenge, probably because I never stood up for myself in the past and I can’t stand the idea of someone getting away with mistreating me now.
Anyway, I’m just wondering if anyone else’s anger might have manifested in this manner.http://anemicsunshine.tumblr.com/
Help understanding ex and her anger
by JayL » Fri May 20, 2011 2:37 am I just got out of a relationship with a girl who had a very bad past. Father abused mother, step father abused mother. Dysfunctional brothers.
Her- Very successful and driven. She thinks she is strong, independent, which on the surface she is. Stands up for what she believes and anger comes out. Almost very womens rights, etc. Cant stand the status of old fashion relationships where the women basically take care of the man, house, raise kids etc. (not that is what I expect or even want) She gets very testy and argumentative.
The tough part when things were good, they were real good. She was very kind and thoughtful, affectionate, happy, etc. I still felt I was on egg shells that my opinion on something could set her off. I am very laid back and know to pick my battles in which most of the time I wouldnt respond or change the subject and all is well.
When we got into the few arguments that we did she was BRUTAL. Name calling, and as calm and nice as I could be she would just get angrier. It was like I was talking to a child that there was nothing you could say or do.
She did at time mention that she made a new years resolution this year to be nicer to people, be more mature, so I guess she understands she has a problem.
Our relationship ended over something very petty, and the one time I stood up to her diplomatically and ask her not to talk to me that way she went off the deep end and I left and we havent talked since.
This is frustrating
Can anyone shed some light on what this sounds like? if she is close to say over mid 30's is it even tougher to change?JayLConsumer 0
Her- Very successful and driven. She thinks she is strong, independent, which on the surface she is. Stands up for what she believes and anger comes out. Almost very womens rights, etc. Cant stand the status of old fashion relationships where the women basically take care of the man, house, raise kids etc. (not that is what I expect or even want) She gets very testy and argumentative.
The tough part when things were good, they were real good. She was very kind and thoughtful, affectionate, happy, etc. I still felt I was on egg shells that my opinion on something could set her off. I am very laid back and know to pick my battles in which most of the time I wouldnt respond or change the subject and all is well.
When we got into the few arguments that we did she was BRUTAL. Name calling, and as calm and nice as I could be she would just get angrier. It was like I was talking to a child that there was nothing you could say or do.
She did at time mention that she made a new years resolution this year to be nicer to people, be more mature, so I guess she understands she has a problem.
Our relationship ended over something very petty, and the one time I stood up to her diplomatically and ask her not to talk to me that way she went off the deep end and I left and we havent talked since.
This is frustrating
Can anyone shed some light on what this sounds like? if she is close to say over mid 30's is it even tougher to change?JayLConsumer 0
Mad Anger
by Aklira » Sat May 21, 2011 9:23 pm Both sides of my parents families have anger problems, my father being one of the worst. I have inherited that trait. There are times where I would just barely contain myself from beating up my own mother. Hitting back after my father has hit me. There has been countless times as a young girl where people had pushed me, or taunted me, and before I knew it, I was punching their lights out, tears in my eyes, not from the pain of being bullied, or even the throbbing of my fist, but because I was so angry. There was a few weeks ago, when my little sister went into the bathroom, while I was in there, brushing my teeth. She called me something, I don't even remember, and I slapped her, and put my hand on her throat and squeezed. After a few seconds, I realized what I had been doing, and let go of her.
She was sobbing, but the door was closed so no one could really hear her, they were all downstairs. "You tried to kill me!" she screeched, her eyes wide in horror, as tears spilled over her cheeks. And I calmed her down and swore her to secrecy, because I knew that I would get the same treatment from my father, if not worse, had he known. I was shocked with myself. I put a hand on my little sisters throat, intending to suffocate her. I had been able to control it for a while, but I'm still afraid of what I might do if someone angers me. I don't know what to do to change this, and I was wondering if someone had any advice.
She was sobbing, but the door was closed so no one could really hear her, they were all downstairs. "You tried to kill me!" she screeched, her eyes wide in horror, as tears spilled over her cheeks. And I calmed her down and swore her to secrecy, because I knew that I would get the same treatment from my father, if not worse, had he known. I was shocked with myself. I put a hand on my little sisters throat, intending to suffocate her. I had been able to control it for a while, but I'm still afraid of what I might do if someone angers me. I don't know what to do to change this, and I was wondering if someone had any advice.
Please help me.
by Quiche17 » Wed May 25, 2011 3:13 am I really wanted to get advice for this as it is something I have never told anyone. I am 19, a college student and I have always been kind of sensitive. In grade 7 was when I went through my horrible angry phase. I was the most horrible child because I was frustrated and I didn't have a way to let it out nor anyone to talk to. Then in grade 8 I had a teacher I absolutely hated. Everyday I would fantasize about killing him when he made me angry (I was angry at the sight of him). I remember wishing and telling him that I hoped he died a slow and painful death and that if he was in a pool of blood dying in front of me I would laugh. ( I would hiss this at him all the time). When i was angry I would draw pictures so my school on fire and with red ink only write words on a piece of paper. (They would consist of die, kill, hate, ###$) I would sit there in a trance and just write these angry words. I once drew a picture of my teachers head as a balloon and me walking towards him with a nail going to pop him. I am an average healthy female with lots of friends and love, but I do not know if this is normal. I no longer write angry words but I do write my feelings when I am angry or feeling any emotion because I have not learned to express myself. The reason this is still a problem is because I still feel like killing people when I get angry or frustrated. When i say killing people I mean that I will sit there and think about how I want to rip someones vocal chords out or how I want to cut their limbs off one at a time. I just think of whatever comes to my mind and this uncontrollable force just takes over and all I can think about is how badly I want this person dead and how I would do this. The thing is I get like this all the time as little things trigger me. I have an oral fixation so anytime someone eats around me, whistles, slurps (really makes any sound with their mouth) this feeling of wanting to gauge their eyes out comes over me and I begin to shake as I just cannot handle it. (This is far less in social situations as I have lots of different sounds around me to focus on) This is worst with my family, especially my mother. Any and everything she does makes me think about killing her. Even if she asks me too many questions or just if i am not in the mood or really I find everything about her annoys me and makes me have these horrible thoughts as well as snapping at her. I sit in my room crying at night because I feel so horrible for the way I treat her, but I do not know how to make this stop. I go away for school 5 hours and come home every couple of months but when I am here I spend as little time possible with her. (I probably see her once a day and spend about 5 minutes with her). I feel like a horrible daughter but I physically cannot stand being around her as she will just make me angry and want to kill her and I will then feel horribly guilty for treating her like this. She doesn't know about any of this and I do not know how to nor like talking about my feelings. Please help in anyway you can because I do not want this to happen anymore and I just want to be normal and have my mom know I love her. I am scared that she thinks that I hate her and that makes me cry even just sitting here writing this.
What should I do?Quiche17Consumer 0
What should I do?Quiche17Consumer 0
Husband's anger is driving me nuts.
by anemone999 » Fri May 27, 2011 2:11 pm Hello all. I've posted in this forum a few times for myself, now I'm posting on behalf of my husband.
Long story short, my husband (I'll call him Q) has been out of work for about a year now (he's a carpenter) and has been drumming up odd jobs here and there, nothing real steady though. There's just no work for carpenters at the moment.
Q is angry and frustrated, and did I mention angry. He's like a caged lion.
Q has some anger issues from childhood. Dad walked out when he was 2. Mother is a very angry person and they get into arguments when they're under the same roof.
I've been paying the bills on my teacher's salary. We both won't say it but it really, really sucks being as broke as we are. There's things we really need and we just don't have the money.
We also have a 4 year old daughter.
A few months ago Q and I got into a raging argument about how I "don't do $#%
Long story short, my husband (I'll call him Q) has been out of work for about a year now (he's a carpenter) and has been drumming up odd jobs here and there, nothing real steady though. There's just no work for carpenters at the moment.
Q is angry and frustrated, and did I mention angry. He's like a caged lion.
Q has some anger issues from childhood. Dad walked out when he was 2. Mother is a very angry person and they get into arguments when they're under the same roof.
I've been paying the bills on my teacher's salary. We both won't say it but it really, really sucks being as broke as we are. There's things we really need and we just don't have the money.
We also have a 4 year old daughter.
A few months ago Q and I got into a raging argument about how I "don't do $#%
Any advice or help
by Stuie » Sun May 29, 2011 10:05 pm Hey I wondered if anyone can suggest ways to deal with a short temper. Perfect example, last night I was out with some friends for a birthday and one of them was a bit drunk and accidentally hit me in the mouth (i have two piercings that are three week and so a bit tender) so I strangled him till he went to the floor and then punched him a couple of times. After I had done this I went back to bein perfectly calm and having a good time. He realised what he had done so there was no friction between is after. It's usually really small and petty things that set me off and I'm worried that one day I'll go to far.Never be ashamed of who you are and what you doStuieConsumer 1
The Power and Control Addiction
by OkCorral » Tue Jun 07, 2011 1:08 am Hi everyone, I'm a psychologist and author of two books, the first entitled The Therapist's Use of Self in Family Therapy was published 10 years ago. The second, entitled The Emotional Toolbox: A Manual for Mental Health . The article below describes "." Many people who suffer with anger problems have the traits described here. Until these individuals recognize their need for power and the losses they'll endure to get it, they have very little chance of overcoming their difficulties with anger or resolving their interpersonal conflicts. Please comment and feel free to comment on anything else you see on my website.
by Dr. Dan Bochner
by Dr. Dan Bochner
I'm angry.
by KenWalker » Tue May 03, 2011 6:21 pm I've been on an anger spree recently. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I've kept in my anger for almost 24 years of my life. I've never had the reactionary muscles to be angry during the moment when it occurs. I usually try to diffuse things in a nice bullshit manner like my parents taught me. this created a very passive-aggressive personality in me that bottles up and ends up doing something crazy - like poisoning myself with alcohol.
I'm enjoying the anger I've been able to dish out on the spot. I never hold anything in. What changed is Lamictal's been helping me express myself better every day.
Te best thing is I feel great about it! I'm sort of on a power trip about it. I will have to learn to control my anger into small doses though and express it more properly. I apologize to the people in the past week and perhaps the coming weeks I've let out my wrath on as more than necessary.
I'm enjoying the anger I've been able to dish out on the spot. I never hold anything in. What changed is Lamictal's been helping me express myself better every day.
Te best thing is I feel great about it! I'm sort of on a power trip about it. I will have to learn to control my anger into small doses though and express it more properly. I apologize to the people in the past week and perhaps the coming weeks I've let out my wrath on as more than necessary.
intrudction and traffic anger
by ycinsha » Wed Jun 15, 2011 9:43 pm hi i am a guy early 20's and i have anger issues only in some situations lik driving in traffic. when other cars are going sooooo slow or refuse to turn right on red or things like that it just gets my blood pressure up and i want to yell at them so mcuh.
i know it doesn't help but it's just so hard, like why can't they see that the light is green and go instead of still sitting there for a long time?
i mean i don't want to hurt anybody ever but i'm afraid if i ever wud get out of my car near one of those drivers that i would yell at them
i know it doesn't help but it's just so hard, like why can't they see that the light is green and go instead of still sitting there for a long time?
i mean i don't want to hurt anybody ever but i'm afraid if i ever wud get out of my car near one of those drivers that i would yell at them
i want to kill my 'friend'....
by EmmaRamone » Sun Jun 19, 2011 11:06 am i am the most angry i have EVER been.
i feel trapped and i need to escape.
my 'friend' slept over at my house last night, but i stupidly let a guy stay too and i walked in on them having sex and im so disgusted - just so disrespectful, i let them both stay over as a favour and they thank me by that.
and ts just constant, my 'friend' asking me stuff
shes wearing my ######6 PANTS ''i thouht you wouldnt mind' - they will have to go in thr bin now
i can never sit on the sofa again.
i csnt describe how disgusted i am.
so yeah, i canrt stand it, shes here now so i'm making an excuse, to leave the house and get rid of her.
i'm too ###$ nice and let people walk all over me. ill agree to something i really dont wanna do etc.
this is a nightmare its just one confession after another ''oh sorry bled all over your sofa''
EUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i feel like i cant carry on living, im scarred for life.
i have extreme OCD FFS! so gthis is 1 of the worst thingsEmmaRamoneConsumer 2
i feel trapped and i need to escape.
my 'friend' slept over at my house last night, but i stupidly let a guy stay too and i walked in on them having sex and im so disgusted - just so disrespectful, i let them both stay over as a favour and they thank me by that.
and ts just constant, my 'friend' asking me stuff
shes wearing my ######6 PANTS ''i thouht you wouldnt mind' - they will have to go in thr bin now
i can never sit on the sofa again.
i csnt describe how disgusted i am.
so yeah, i canrt stand it, shes here now so i'm making an excuse, to leave the house and get rid of her.
i'm too ###$ nice and let people walk all over me. ill agree to something i really dont wanna do etc.
this is a nightmare its just one confession after another ''oh sorry bled all over your sofa''
EUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i feel like i cant carry on living, im scarred for life.
i have extreme OCD FFS! so gthis is 1 of the worst thingsEmmaRamoneConsumer 2
Breaking 'my' stuff
years now.. (aged 27)
When it started.. Id punch holes in walls or computer screens when very angry and usually after a period of a few days of tesion building up..
but over the years its taken less and less to set me off... now I can be having a heated discussion with someone and suddenly I take my 800$ phone out my pocket and throw it at the ground or walk up to my lcd tv and throw my fist through it..
the main reason for my post though is whats been happening over the past 6 months or so..
at seemingly 'random' times, even when i dont feel angry and often when im alone.. I feel like breaking things and have to tell myself DONT DO IT ! or physically step back from, example my computer or put my phone back in my pocket so I do have a 1 second lapse of control and throw it across the street..
I seem to be in a constant battle against these idiotic thoughts !
I tell myself things like.. dont do it.. remember last time it cost you 400$, time before 800$.. now you cant afford it etc etc but the part of me thats doing the damage doesnt care ?! :S
Anyway.. any advice ?
thanks...khoraskConsumer 0
When it started.. Id punch holes in walls or computer screens when very angry and usually after a period of a few days of tesion building up..
but over the years its taken less and less to set me off... now I can be having a heated discussion with someone and suddenly I take my 800$ phone out my pocket and throw it at the ground or walk up to my lcd tv and throw my fist through it..
the main reason for my post though is whats been happening over the past 6 months or so..
at seemingly 'random' times, even when i dont feel angry and often when im alone.. I feel like breaking things and have to tell myself DONT DO IT ! or physically step back from, example my computer or put my phone back in my pocket so I do have a 1 second lapse of control and throw it across the street..
I seem to be in a constant battle against these idiotic thoughts !
I tell myself things like.. dont do it.. remember last time it cost you 400$, time before 800$.. now you cant afford it etc etc but the part of me thats doing the damage doesnt care ?! :S
Anyway.. any advice ?
thanks...khoraskConsumer 0
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